Firms of Endearment
by AnnabethReads
Summary: Innocent Love left you wanting more, so here it is. After 86 chapters of Love, Passion, Pain, and Life with Tobias and Tris, I introduce to you all Firms of Endearment. Watch their four children grow and live through very different experiences. (WARNING** This is the second story to Innocent Love! There are characters you may not know of and facts you will not understand**) ENJOY!
1. Chapter 1 - Out of Hand

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 1  
Out of Hand

||10 Years Later||

_**Phoenix's POV**_

"Good morning, baby." I peek into the nursery and smile at the one-year-old girl holding onto the railing of her crib. She was giggling and swinging on the bar, waiting for one of her parents to hold her.

"She awake?" Alex comes behind me, his head looking over mine and towards our daughter.

"When is she ever asleep?" I ask with a laugh, entering the room entirely and picking the girl under her arms. "Such a big girl." I say proudly blowing raspberries on her cheek and making her squeal.

"So you're parents are going to watch her today?" Alex asks me, pulling out a fresh diaper and setting up the changing table while I bring over the baby.

"Yeah, but dad has a late shift until 8 and mom has to head into work right after dinner until 9 so Mara will watch her then. We can pick her up at 10."

"Sounds good." He gives me a quick kiss before taking Birdie from me and getting to work on her diaper. I go to the dresser and pull out a fresh outfit to dress her in.

"So where are we going again?" I ask, handing him the clothes and leaning against the wall.

"Can't tell you." He smirks, reaching for the baby powder. "And no matter how many times you ask, I will not say." I laugh and give a groan, rising from the wall and going back to the crib. I fix the blanket and re-adjust the toys, taking out a few things to place into Birdie's diaper bag. "Can you hand me her bee-bee please?" I walk over to the now dressed child and play with her toes.

"Does Birdie want her bee-bee?" I ask wiggling the pacifier over her mouth and cooing at her.

"We should really wean her off that thing soon." Alex reminds me as Birdie takes the pacifier and reaches for her daddy. He scoops her up and kisses her cheek while she snuggles her head onto his shoulder, reaching for his hair with a small hand.

"I don't have the heart to do that." I say, making him laugh. "Come on, we'll be late for breakfast." I urge, grabbing the packed diaper bag and ushering my two favourite people out of the door.

~.~.~

_**Tris' POV**_

"Aww Piper, you're looking amazing." I say, placing my hand over her large stomach. Chris was next to me, her hand on the other side of Piper's stomach.

"Damien is so funny. He keeps buying new things for the nursery and fussing over me." Piper explains to the both of us.

"Sounds just like Uriah oddly." Chris laughs. "Remember how Marlene wasn't even allowed to walk because he refused to let her?" I begin to laugh as well.

"He would carry her to the washroom, to the cafeteria, everywhere!" I exasperate, waving to Shauna when she enters with Zeke.

"Hello Lovelies." Shauna says flamboyantly, as she kisses Piper behind the head and comes to me. "How's our Mara?" She asks, sitting next to me and rubbing my arm. Piper went to find Damien who was still in line with Will, and Tobias to get food. Chris looked to me as well and now both wanted to know about my youngest.

"It's nearly been a month and she is still distant." I say, pointing to the far table near the end of the cafeteria.

"I'm sorry Tris, but she had to know eventually. She's sixteen and all of her friends were getting their periods years ago. She needed to know that because of what happened years ago, she can't have kids or get her period. Ever." Chris says, I nod quickly.

"I know, I know. I'm glad she knows but I felt like we buried the rape incident back when she was little but now that she is older I think it is hitting her harder. I just wonder if she blames Tobias and I for not doing our job as parents."

"Tris," Shauna begins, sympathy in her tone as she rubs my forearm. "You've given her nothing but love and support. She had a troubled past and saw more than someone should before she even turned five. She just needs to work things out and make herself understand."

"Yeah." I agree, rubbing my face in my hands and taking a deep breath. I peek through my fingers and see my daughter reading at her table, a sad look washed over her face as she swings her long legs. She was tall, nearly 5"8 last I checked. She and Chris were the exact same height and matched in the way their body was shaped. Long legs, but shorter torso. Unlike Christina, Mara has long hair.

She never cut her long black curls, and something tells me she refuses to.

"Breakfast is served." Tobias announces, bringing over the trays of food with the other boys and Piper.

"Who let her get up?" Damien asks, pointing to Piper.

"Damien, I can walk. I have legs remember?" Piper wiggled her legs when she sat down and gave a giggle. "Stop worrying."

"I'm not worried. I'm concerned." He says, setting their food down and wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Same thing." She replies, kissing his cheek. I smile when Tobias takes his seat next to me.

"How are you?" He asks, taking a seat and pecking my forehead.

"I'm worrying about Mara again." I admit making him furrow his eyebrows.

"Tris-"

"I know, Chris and Shauna already told me not to worry. But I'm her mom and she's hurting. I can not stop worrying about what she is feeling." I explain making him snicker at my ranting.

"I was going to say, take a deep breath, grab this bowl of oatmeal, and try to get Mara to talk to you." I smile at his words and take the bowl he was offering me. I grab a spoon as well and kiss him quickly before walking over to the other table.

"Hello Raven," I say, kissing the back of her head and placing the food down in front of her. "I brought you you're breakfast." I say, nodding for her to look at the oatmeal.

"Thank you." She says, giving me a weak smile and shutting her book. She takes the spoon and stirs the food, glancing at me momentarily before taking a bit.

"Do you want to come sit with your dad and I?" I ask, rubbing her back.

"Uhh, no. That's alright." She whispers.

"Baby, if you want to talk-"

"I just need a little bit of time mom. Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt myself… or do anything like that." She says softly, looking to me with a heartbreaking face.

"Okay. Are you still up to watching Birdie for an hour or two after dinner today?" I ask, rubbing her arm.

"Yeah, of course." She nods, giving a genuine smile.

"Dad and I will be back from work around nine so when dinner is finished you can take her back to the apartment and bathe her before bed."

"Okay. You don't have work until then right?"

"Nope, I'll take care of Birdie while Phoenix and Alex have a day together, so you can maybe hang out with your friends if you'd like." I suggest, she slumps her shoulders and shakes her head.

"I think I'll just stay at home, or maybe I'll go train hopping for a while."

"Sweets, if you block out your friends, you're only hurting yourself." I remind her.

"I know, I'm just not up to it today."

"Okay, remember: Dad and I are here if you need us." I say, kissing her forehead before rising and heading to the couple that just entered.

"Hi mom!" Phoenix ran to me, giving me a hug.

"Hi sweetie, hi Alex." I kiss his cheek and take my grand-daughter into my arms.

"How are you?" Alex asks me as I kiss Birdie's hands.

"I'm good. Are you guys excited for a day off?" I ask, looking to the both of them while the baby tugs on my cheek.

"Yeah, thank you so much again for watching her." Phoenix exasperates, leaning into Alex's side.

"Anytime. I love this little Bird!" I say, nuzzling into Birdie's side and making her squeal.

"She loves you." Alex replies, laughing when her daughter reaches back for him.  
"Go to your daddy." I encourage the small child, patting her bum when she is out of my arms.

"Come on, the rest of the family is sitting already." I say, pointing to where our table was. Ezra and his fiancé Izabel were at the head of the table already. Ronnie and Lynn were just arriving as well. They got married five years ago, Samantha was the flower girl and Jackson was the ring bearer. The wedding was something to be remembered forever, especially when Marlene tied the rings to Jackson's wrists so he wouldn't lose them.

"Mara isn't joining us again?" Phoenix asks me, nodding to her little sister. Mara prodded her oatmeal and occasionally took a bite.

"Not today, baby." I whisper, knowing that Mara couldn't hear but still feeling bad about it.

"She's okay with watching Birdie, right?" Phoenix nods towards Alex who was talking to the baby in the food lineup.

"She'll be fine." I promise, taking her shoulders and leading her to the table.

"That's my first born. I want to keep her alive." Phoenix reminds me. I pinch her lightly and give her a scolding glance.

"Mara is capable of taking care of a baby."

"Mom, I'd be worried that she can't even take care of herself right now. I think you'd like to know she missed breakfast again." She points to the door where Mara walked out. I sigh and close my eyes from the headache I was getting. This was getting out of hand.

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**First chapter of Firms of Endearment :) How was it? Did you enjoy it? **

**(**Ages of Characters**)**

Birdie Ida Keenan - Blake/Charlie (The Originals) - June 18 3041 || 1 year old

Damien James Eaton – Zach Roerig - March 29th 3014 || 28 years old  
Phoenix Emma Eaton – Sasha Pieterse - March 29th 3014 || 28 years old  
Ezra Andrew Eaton – Chase Crawford - September 2nd 3019 || 23 years old  
Mara Rose Eaton - Danielle Campbell- November 21st 3026 || 15 years old  
Piper Willow Balgrove - Sarah Hyland - January 3rd 3016 || 26 years old  
Thalia Balgrove - Lucy Hale -May 1st 3029 || 13 years old  
Izabel Pedrad - Nina Dobrev - April 28th 3018 || 24 years old  
Samantha Pedrad - Rachel Bilson - March 15th 3031 || 11 years old  
Jackson Pedrad - Brant Daughtery - August 4th 3032 || 10 years old  
Alexander Keenan – Keegan Allen - June 11th 3014 || 28 years old

Tobias Eaton – Theo James – 48 years old  
Tris Eaton – Shailene Woodley – 46 years old  
Will Balgrove – Ben Llyod-Hughes – 46 years old  
Chris Balgrove – Zoe Kravitz - 46 years old  
Zeke Pedrad – Jesse Williams - 48 years old  
Shauna Pedrad – Nikki Yanofsky - 48 years old  
Uriah Pedrad – Keiynan Lonsdale - 46 years old  
Marlene Pedrad – Suki Waterhouse - 46 years old  
Lynn Riley – Rosa Salazar - 46 years old  
Ronnie Stewart – Kacey Rohl - 46 years old

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**Valentina**


	2. Chapter 2 - Shitty Line

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 2  
Shitty Line

_**Damien's POV**_

"Piper, baby can you promise to not leave bed today?" I ask her as we finally enter our apartment. She huffs in annoyance but nods her head.

"Fine. I hate bed-rest." She looks down to her stomach and furrows her eyebrows. "Get out of me, please!" She begs making me laugh.

"Only one more week. Then she can come to this world as a healthy 9 month old."

"A week early wouldn't hurt." She argues as I usher her into our room.

"Call me, your mom, or my mom if you need anything." I say, covering her with the blanket and handing her the TV remote. "I love you." I say, giving her a kiss.

"I love you too." She shoos me away quickly knowing very well that I was late for work because I refused to let her walk back to the apartment alone. It didn't bother me though; I appreciated each moment I got with my wife and baby girl.

_**Mara's POV**_

Mom arranged for a day off work today. She wanted to watch Birdie but part of me knew it was also to try to get me to "talk about my feelings". I refuse to go along with that idea so I toss my breakfast and leave the cafeteria, hopefully un-noticed by my family a few tables away.

Train hopping was a good way for me to relax. I was able to breathe in the train and think for myself for as long as I wanted. And then I simply turn around and head back. I could do it all day, and as of recently, I have begun to do the loop non-stop.

The ride to the end of the track is usually an hour, the other way is two hours. Dauntless is smacked right in the center of the tracks meaning that going the south way leads you to the other factions. North takes you to the punishment hall, adult and juvenile prisons. If I commit a crime now, I'd be sent to juvie, after my birthday in November there would be a re-open of my case and then I'd be set free or sent to the large prison for everyone over 16.

I'm not stupid, however. While I'm angry, it doesn't mean I'll become reckless. I'm smart enough to know that I have to take my aptitude test in a month, chose my faction, and finally become an adult.

If only dad heard me say that. He doesn't believe that a 16 year old is an adult. He is against that principle and all it applies to. If it were up to dad he'd have a kid become an adult at the age of 20. Jobs would only given to 18 year olds. And apartment ownership would only be granted to anyone over 20.

But dad can't make those decisions, meaning in a few months, I will finally be an adult and won't have to listen to my parents single rule of going up the north tracks. I can go out the south side, and back to Dauntless, as many times as I want, but that is where the line is drawn.

It's a shitty line.

~.~.~

"Boy take my hand

let's disappear too many city lights 'round here

Follow my heart into the trees under the stars

We can lose ourselves in the midnight

We can find our way in the sunrise

Grab a mason jar full of fireflies to be our light

Look in my eyes, you got the moon, I've got the shine."

Singing helps numb the pain I'm feeling. Any song works, as long as I could sing it and close my eyes in the privacy of a train car. Privacy only goes so far when there is a phone in your pocket, vibrating the whole time. I groan when my song cut shorts due to another phone call.

"Hello?" I say in the receiver, my patience running thin.

"Mara where are you?" Mom demands on her end, the loud noise of others making me guess that it was time for another meal.

"Train hopping. I told you I'd be doing that today." I say, shrugging my shoulders even though she couldn't see me.

"You threw out your breakfast, you skipped lunch. It's dinnertime and I expect you to be back here to eat something. I have work in an hour, meaning Birdie is your responsibility for two hours so I suggest you turn your butt around and head back here, please." I roll my eyes and suddenly cringe because I scoffed outwardly. "Mara Rose did you just roll your eyes?"

"Phft, what? No! How on earth would you even notice? I'm not in front of you." I remind her making her groan.

"You scoffed, and rolled your eyes, I can tell. Now get back her before I talk to your dad about those train hopping privileges."

"Okay, sorry." I mumble.

"It's fine. Be safe. I love you." Mom says in her gentler tone.

"I love you too." I say back, turning my phone off and rising from the cart floor. I walk over to the door and open it with the pad, peeking out to see a very distant image of Dauntless. I had another 20 minutes of riding before I'd get there so I opt with sitting on the train edge with my legs dangling over the side. I didn't want to miss Dauntless and have to deal with mom later.

I continue to hum as I look at the west gate. I've always wondered why mom and dad didn't run away with us when they had the chance. I mean we've spent many hours out in the meadow and yet we always return back to this confinement, never to be set free unless doing it behind the laws back. It was silly if you ask me, especially since Dad had a strong opposition to so many of the faction laws.

Dauntless nears and I prepare to jump, rubbing a hand over my curls quickly before leaping off the cart edge. I land with a slight stumble but recover quickly by forcing myself to run down to the cafeteria as fast as possible.

When I get there dad catches my eyes and gives me a warm smile, which I can only return with a small wave. I sit at my table and shut my eyes momentarily, trying to block out the intense rush of noise. Someone places their hand on my back causing me to jump but I am quick to notice that it is dad with a plate of meat and beans.

"Hi, Ari." He says, placing the food and utensils in front of me. "How was train hopping?"

"Fine." I answer, grabbing my fork and shoving my beans into a small circle.

"I just wanted to let you know that mom and I will give you Birdie when you finish eating and should be home at 9."

"Wait I thought you got off at 8." I say.

"I need the extra hour to finish some work. Don't worry. You can still call me if you need something." He kisses my forehead before rising from the bench and walking back to his table. I work on the meat, slightly appauld by the smell since I never truly enjoyed the sauce they use, and I hate the effort it took to chew it well enough to swallow.

I get halfway before giving in and eating the beans quickly. I toss the rest and head over to the large group.

"Hi there, Ari. So nice of you to join us." Dad says, making the conversation die in the group.

"Hi guys, I'm just going to snatch Birdie and head back home now. I'll see you all later." I say, taking the baby and accepting mom's kiss on my cheek. "Hi there little girl." I whisper near her ear. She looks at me and giggles, bouncing in my arms lightly. "Do you want to walk?" I ask, placing her on the ground and taking her small hand. I slouch slightly to hold onto her but she is gleeful in the freedom of walking around the compound.

"dadadada." She chanted with each step, biting on her pacifier as she went.

"You're Dada will pick you up later. For now, you're mine, buggy." I say, scooping her back up when she stumbled slightly but re-gained her balance. "I don't want you to break your face." I explain when she looks back down and kicks her legs to be released. After a few minutes of kicking she begins to get frustrated, whimpering with each futile attempt. "Birdie, please calm down." I beg her, noticing that tears are building in her eyes. She made an aggravated noise and began to cry, which got me panicking slightly as I rushed to enter the apartment and shut the door.

"What's wrong? Shh, look you can walk now." I say, placing her on the ground. She screams louder and tugs my arm back. I picked her up and began to worry about why she was crying. "A bath, you need a bath." I decide, walking her to the washroom and getting the tub filled ¼ of the way. As the water rises I undress her and toss away her dirty diaper, wrinkling my nose at her stinky smell. She was warm, but I thought nothing of it as I placed her in the tub and shut off the tap.

"Look, you're alright." I whisper, wading her on her back as she began to hiccup. "Shh, calm down little bird. Everything is alright." I begin to stroke her hair, making her small amount of brown hair wet with my palm. "Please, stop crying!" I beg, knowing very well that she hardly does this and that I was obviously screwing up.

With another scream I knew the bath was a failed attempt at fixing things.

"Okay, you're done. No more bath." I promise her, lifting her out of the tub and unplugging the drain. "Do you want you bee-bee?" I ask, holding the pacifier to her mouth once I had her wrapped in a towel. She grabbed onto the pacifier, which thankfully lightened her cries but she persisted on whining and whimpering.

"Phoenix, you owe me." I mumble, grabbing the old clothes she wore and heading over to the diaper bag. I pull out a onsie and a diaper, heading over to my bed where I cover her bottom and dress her for bed. "Time to sleep." I whisper softly, cooing into her ear as I bob up and down in a gentle motion.

"mamamama." She babbled, grabbing a curl behind my back and tugging it.

"Okay, that hurts." I say, placing her on my bed and covering her with the blanket I kept at the foot. She laid in the center and kept wailing her lungs out. I climbed onto the edge of the bed and suddenly had a revelation. I opened the buttons of her onsie to reveal her stomach and take two fingers. Gently I walk them from her belly button to the start of her neck. From there I stroke them down to her belly button and repeat. She whimpers but calms and soon she is lulled into a light sleep, as I continue the motion.

Something inside me clenches and I feel a dark wave wash over me when I realize I can never do this to my own kids. But hey, the world has to be against someone, right?

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**The song that Mara sang is Moonshine by Sara Haze. **

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**Valentina**


	3. Chapter 3 - Childish Behaviour

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 3  
Childish Behaviour

_**Tris' POV**_

"Mara, we're home." Tobias says when he and I enter the apartment together.

"Maybe she went to sleep." I suggest when we get no response. We both kick off our shoes and toss our jackets onto the entrance table before walking to our room.

It was empty, leaving the spare room and Mara's room. Tobias takes my hand and leads me to the end of the hallway where our daughter's door had a crack open. He pushed it the rest of the way and stopped.

Mara laid on her bed with Birdie. She was rubbing the baby's tummy but she was crying, very hard in fact.

"Mara," I say slowly, but she refuses to look at me. "Baby, what's wrong?" I ask, kneeling by the left side of her bed where Birdie rested.

"Nothing." She says, covering her upper lip with her lower one and shaking her head.

"Something is wrong, Princess." Tobias says, sitting by her feet. "Please talk to us." He begs, rubbing her ankle. She once again shakes her head and nudges Tobias hand away with her foot.

"I'm fine." She mumbles. Those two words have been a common occurrence in her speech lately.

"Mara-"

"I said: I'm fine!" She demands angrily, stopping me from saying more. "You two think that you have the right to know everything I'm thinking. But you don't! If I don't want to talk, then I don't have to. Just watch the baby, I'm going out for some air." She rises off the bed and wipes under her eyes. Tobias tries to grab her hand but she shakes hers away harshly making him cringe. We listen as she turns in the hallway and both give a jump when she slams the front door.

Tobias rubs his forehead and closes his eyes. "What's up with that girl?"

"She's hurting, so, so much right now. And I don't think we can do anything to fix it." I explain, standing up from the floor and taking Birdie into my arms. She snuggled against my neck while I hold her blanket around her bottom area. I forgot to button up her pajamas but right now I wasn't too worried about that.

"Should I go after her? I mean, what if she hurts herself?" Tobias stresses, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Let her breathe. If she doesn't come back after Phoenix and Alex grab Birdie then we can go look for her." I say. He nods in agreement and stands from the bed, rubbing his chin. I laugh lightly and approach him, taking his hand from his face and giving him a kiss.

"I just want to give her everything that she wants." He tells me.

"So do I, but we can't help in that area." I say, pressing my face into his chest and feeling as he wraps his arm over the one I held Birdie with.

"Let's go set this one down." He kisses my forehead again and leads me towards our room where we set Birdie in the centre of our bed and head to the kitchen once again.

"Now we wait." I whisper, taking a seat on a barstool and giving a small smile when his arms wrapped around me from behind and held me against his chest.

~.~.~

_**Damien's POV **_

"You know, Vivian is a pretty name." Piper says as we lay in bed together. I had my hand on her bare stomach as I drew letters and random shapes.

"It's very nice, but this girl was a little obsessive about me back in school. Her name was Vivian." I explain making her roll her eyes.

"Oh Damien, when are you ever going to get over yourself?" She asks with a giggle, making the baby inside her kick my hand.

"When I become ugly." I reply, kissing her nose before she can give me a smartass reply.

"Okay back to names." She says, laughing again when I distract her with another kiss.

"I don't know Pipes, I suck at naming things. If I name our poor child she'll hate me forever." I say, cringing at the thought. Piper makes a face at the thought as well and lifts an eyebrow at me.

"Well, I'm sure you won't name her something with our names mashed into one."

"Like Pamien." I say laughing at the awful thought.

"Or Diaper." This makes the both of us laugh really hard. I begin to cry at the thought and Piper is so grossed out by the name that she began spitting out random situations of us using that name. "Damien, Diaper needs a diaper change."

"That can be an insinuation that you want me to change her personality." I say.

"She'll be unique, that's for sure."

"I wouldn't expect anything but different from our little girl." I say, kissing her on the lips and moving my hand from her stomach to her head.

"Damien, we already did it once tonight, I highly doubt a second time would be good for her." Piper reminds me, stopping my kisses.

"I thought having sex didn't hurt the baby."

"Yeah, but it's exhausting for me!" She exasperates, stroking the hair on my forehead and closing her eyes momentarily. "And as much as I want this baby to be out of me, I hardly doubt increasing the amount of times we have sex in a night will bring her out sooner."

"You never know." I tease, rubbing my nose against hers.

"I'm too lazy to find out." She whispers close to my mouth, before I encase her lips with mine, and pull her closer to me. I knew she didn't want to do it, but it didn't mean we couldn't make out.

"There is someone at the door." She mumbles after a minute.

"I can hear too, dear." I say in a cheeky tone.

"Oh good, we won't have to buy hearing aids for a while then." She says sarcastically, making me give her a playful angry glare. She returns it before speaking again. "I told you because I think you should get it." There was another knock, making me groan. "Like, now." She pushes my arm and kicks me out of the bed. I scoop up some underwear and slip them on. "Cute butt by the way."

"Yours isn't too bad either." I reply, about to creep back into the bed before she pushed me back.

"Door, now."

"But, why?" I ask, dragging on the "y".

"Don't be a child." She abolished as I picked up my pajama shirt and pants and began to dress. "And to answer your question: because this is our apartment, and I'm pregnant."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning I'm not getting up unless it's important."

"Remind me to never knock you up again." I say as she laughs and mushes her face into my pillow.

"Good idea." She agrees as I leave the room and head to the entrance door. I swing it open and see a very drenched, very muddy Mara shaking from the cold.

* * *

**So sorry for the delay in update! I couldn't get into my account because my computer wasn't showing me the code that you're supposed to type in after your email and password.**

**Anyways: WHAT HAPPENED TO MARA?**

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**Valentina**


	4. Chapter 4 - Mute

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 4  
Mute

_**Damien's POV**_

"Mara, what on earth are you doing?!" I demand, pulling her in quickly and shutting the door. She didn't respond so I just got to work on taking off her boots and wet layers. She trembled when she stood in her leggings and tank top, both items clinging to her skinny frame. "Hey, Pipes, do you mind bringing out a towel and new clothes for Mara?" I call, listening as the door opened to reveal my wife dressed. She obviously heard me when I let Mara in and was getting dressed the whole time I was helping my sister.

It was hot this time of the year in Chicago, but every so often we had a very windy, very wet night making the temperature drop to nearly 5 degrees (41). She was cold, and probably going to get sick at this rate.

"Mara, do mom and dad know you're here?" I ask, walking her to the couch and quickly running to the kitchen for a small towel. I wet it and go back to the dark haired girl, sitting on the coffee table in front of her in concern. She only stared at her hands and still refused to speak. I pick her chin up and begin to wipe the mud on her face, noticing how she had a large bruise forming on her right cheekbone and a small cut on her lip. I glance down to her hands and notice that they are busted and bruised, pretty much answering my next question: Did she get in a fight?

"Hi Mara," Piper comes into the room with the stuff I asked for. "Are you okay?" She asks, this time getting a small shake of her head from Mara in the negatory fashion. "I'm just going to dry your hair, okay?" This time Mara nodded and I was shocked at the way Piper could get something from the mute girl.

I began to clean her fists, seeing if the cuts needed stitches or not. She seemed fine, and I was able to get the bleeding to stop so there was no need for it.

"I'm going to call mom and dad. When Piper finishes with your hair can you please change?" She didn't move. I gave up and headed to grab my phone. I called dad and waited for an answer.

"Damien, tell me you have Mara!" Dad says right off the bat.

"She's here. She came to my place all dirty and wet. Piper is helping her dry her hair and we gave her some things to change into."

"Oh thank god." He whispers, quickly informing mom of Mara's whereabouts. "We'll come get her as soon as possible." I could then here the rush of noise on his end.

"Are you on a train?" I ask, raising my eyebrow in suspicion.

"Your sister has an obsession doing this, so after Phoe got Birdie we searched the compound and then came out here. We should be back in 20 minutes."

"Okay. Don't worry; I'll keep her here until then. Umm dad…?"

"Yeah." He says.

"I think she was in a fight. She has a bruised cheek and cut lip. Plus her knuckles are all busted." I say, making him sigh.

"She's been a little… out of it since Chris told her about not being able to have kids. I think she is finally reacting, just not in a good way."

"She needs help." I whisper, looking to see Piper helping Mara change tops.

"We know, we just need her to acknowledge what happened before that." Dad says, his tone heavy with what could be grief.

"I should go make her something to drink. I'll see you soon." I say.

"Thanks again, Damien. I love you."

"I love you too, dad." I say before hanging up and setting my phone down on the counter top. I rest my head forward and sigh outwardly. Mara's overcome the childhood problem before. But she was six then. Six year olds let things go easier than fifteen year olds. Mom and dad had some serious stuff on their hands. I didn't even know how to help.

"All set. You look tired. How about you get some rest before your parents arrive?" Piper says, making me look up from the ground. I watched as she helped Mara rest onto the couch and draped a blanket over the girl. "Damien and I will be in the kitchen." She says softly before kissing Mara on the head and walking towards me.

"She's scared." Piper mumbles when we are both looking at the living room from the kitchen.

"No," I say, shaking my head. "She's broken."

~.~.~

Mom and dad arrived sooner than expected but Mara didn't seem to awaken at the sound of them knocking and entering the apartment.

"Thank you both for keeping her here." Mom says while dad walked over to the couch.

"It was no problem. I'm glad she came to someone she knew before doing something… drastic." Piper says, unsure if the word "stupid" would have been a better fit for this situation.

"Yeah. I mean, I know she's been trying to deal lately but I've never been so worried about her hurting herself in my entire life. She left the apartment for some air but three hours later she never came back. My first thought was the chasm."

"Thankfully, she found an alternative and decided to beat someone up before hurting herself." I intervene, knowing very well that mom could come up with some crazy situations.

"Still, she can't go fighting with everyone. She needs to talk to your dad and I. This time I'm not taking no for an answer." I noticed as dad held Mara in his arms with a sullen face meaning he wasn't into talking about the situation.

"Yeah well, let us know how she is." I say, hugging mom and then allowing Piper to do the same.

"I love you both." She says, going over to dad and getting the door.

"Love you." I say, giving a small wave. She shuts the door and I lead Piper back to our room where both collapse from exhaustion.

~.~.~

_**Mara's POV**_

_Three Hours Earlier..._

When I slammed that door I knew I wanted to run. Run away from the compound. Away from this city. Away from this world. But I was trapped, like always.

So instead I took a run on the tracks, pushing through the heavy rain and blistering wind as I watched the lit up factions ahead of me.

Blood pounded in my ears, my legs throbbed but I didn't stop. I can't stop, it's like there was a rope tied around my waist that threatened to drag me if I did stop moving my legs.

I cried as I went, needing to scream but knowing that I was still with enough range for someone to hear me.

"Well looky here." I freeze quickly when I hear a voice.

"Looks like some run away." Another voice responds.

"Came to join the factionless, didn't ya?" I snap my head the other way when I notice there are three. Three male voices.

"What's yer name princess?" The first guy who spoke, speaks again.

"Forget the name, check out dem pretty legs."

"How bout that ass." My heart thunders at this point and I feel something inside me clench. I needed to vomit.

"Come on sweetie, let us show ya a good time." I finally see the three men, all dirty and tattoo covered. They were factionless, but from Dauntless. While they weren't cut, they obviously choose to leave on their own.

"Follow us." The scariest dude, who likes my butt grabbed my arm and I finally flipped, bringing my foot back and kicking him in the groin. I swing to my right and smashed the nose of the guy who wanted to know my name. The guy who liked my legs grabbed onto my waist so I quickly turn my left elbow up and into his throat.

"Feisty, eh?" I feel someone shove my leg with their foot, not too hard but hard enough to make me stumble and trip over one of the track edges.

"Gotta teach er a lesson." I felt a fist smash into my cheek but quickly tumble to my left so then I can avoid the next hit. I bit my lower lip and feel blood flow, cursing when I notice.

I scramble off the ground and pull a rock up with me.

"It can be easier dan dis honey." I turn before one of them can grab me and bring the rock down on his head, hopefully knocking him out.

"Son of a bitch." I turn again and throw the rock this time, getting the stone to smash into someone else's head. The last guy ambushed me and pinned me down, sitting on my waist as he pinned my wrists above my head.

"That wanent very nice, now was it?" I can smell his body odor and feel a sudden rush of bile rise in my throat.

This was too much. I was remembering everything that happened to me in that house of torture years ago. The rape, the tests, the beating. I threw up right onto the guy making him scream. He jumped off me and tried to wipe off the mess I made. This was my chance.

I jumped up and began to run, wiping at my mouth and pushing to get back to the compound. The guy wasn't following after I ran for a bit so I stopped. I went off the track and held my stomach as more vomit fell from my mouth.

I threw up everything I could and sobbed from the pains and memories.

Any chance of me talking was gone. I was done covering my feelings, and if I spoke now I knew I'd say too many things to get people on my bad side. So from now on, my secrets are only thoughts. No words can leave me because I'm too tired to explain everything weighing me down.

I wanted a break, but I wasn't willing to kill myself.

Not yet anyways.

* * *

**How many of you like The Fosters? **

**I can't wait for the summer premier! Seriously, school is almost over and I can't wait to get my summer on.**

**Comment, Like, Follow :)**

**-Valentina **


	5. Chapter 5- Monsters Turned Out The Light

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 5  
Monsters Turned Out The Light

_**Ezra's POV**_

"Izzy, babe I'm heading to work now." I call towards our room, giving a slight groan when she doesn't respond. "Come on, you can't stay mad at me forever." I remind her, reminiscing in the fight we had an hour ago.

It wasn't even an important fight. Well not to me that is. Izzy was feeling a little under the weather and I agreed to bring her breakfast since she wasn't in the mood of facing the family. So I went out, said good morning to my wonderful family and explained Izzy's condition before returning home to this… mess so to speak.

The minute I entered the apartment something was thrown at me. I was stunned to be honest.

Then came my fiancé: "Ezra, how hard is it for you to put your laundry into the damn clothes hamper?!"

"I was coming home to do just that." I replied, noticing her anger grow from my stupidity.

"You always do this! Why do I constantly have to pick up after you?"

To which I responded, "Why do you always have to make an argument out of something so simple? Maybe you should stop being dramatic."

She didn't take that one very well. She stormed off into our room and I instantly felt bad.

"Iz, I'm sorry. Please talk to me." I begged from the other side of our door. "I brought you some food and I can stay and eat with you before I leave to work." I tried to persuade.

"Just eat your food and go to work!" She demanded on her end. "Oh sorry if I'm being too dramatic." I really had the urge to laugh at the dramatics she had over me calling her dramatic…

Now we're here. She refuses to speak to me, and I feel awful for calling her something she truly wasn't.

"I'm leaving now. Call me if you want or need anything…" I hesitate before adding, "I love you." I do love her, I'm just worried she won't believe it right now.

I grab my gun belt and slip it into place around my uniform. Damien and I work together on the police force, protecting Dauntless from the outside force, a.k.a "Factionless".

I wanted to be apart of guarding the fence but being ranked third my year meant some lucky bastard got it before I did. So I went ahead and joined my big bro in the gun pointing, knife wielding world of being a police officer. To be honest, I was enjoying it.

I've gotten a few cases (murder, suicide, abuse) with Damien, but we mainly walk the outside of Dauntless together and make sure no Factionless cause any trouble.

"Lila, Eddie, how are you both this fine morning?" I ask, charming the top investigators as usual.

"We're fine Ezra, yourself?" Lila asks, twirling her hoop earing at the top of her ear.

"I'm doing pretty good for a man who is being cock blocked."

"You said something wrong to that fiancé of yours?" Eddie asked.

"In attitude terms, yes. I called her over dramatic and she didn't take it so well." I explain, making them laugh.

"Sucks to be you, buddy." Lila grabs a folder and hands it to me. "No new reports, just wrap this one up and head out to the tracks with Damien. Someone saw a few guys walking around the compound last night."

"Will do." I say, grabbing the file and walking away. I wave at them from behind and head into my office, seeing Damien sitting on his desk, texting someone.

"How's it going there, bud?" He asks me as I toss the file on my desk and sit at my chair; ready to end the report I started a month ago.

"Not bad, how are you?" I ask, looking up to see him smiling at his phone.

"I'm good." He responds, placing his phone down and sitting at his chair. "How's Iz?"

"We got in a fight." I say, making Damien say "oh." As if it looked painful.

"Over?"

"My filthy ways. I forgot to toss my stuff into the hamper and she flipped. I called her dramatic and now she won't speak to me." This makes Damien laugh. "Laugh it up, at least you're getting laid."

"Hey, my wife is pregnant."

"And my fiancé is cock blocking me. Who wins?" I ask, looking up from my report.

"Fair enough." He says, raising his hands in surrender.

"Please tell me it gets easier when you get married."

"I don't lie to my family." He replied making me groan. "Which is why I should tell you Mara came by my place last night." This catches my attention.

"Is she alright?"

"Mom and dad said she's not talking. Like at all. She came to my place all wet and muddy and refused to speak to me."

"Is she getting an appointment with her therapist? What's her name? Ms. Shirley!" I ask.

"Mom spoke to her this morning. Apparently it's a coping thing, like a way for her to have control over something in her life."

"So I'm guessing Mara still isn't over the whole: unable to have kids thing."

"Don't say that like such a prick. But yeah, Mara is struggling with it and needed to do something to feel… like she had a choice." Damien explains.

"Hopefully she'll find the solution. But for now, we are off to the tracks." I say, shutting my file and rising from the desk. We both head out to the sunny June day and begin our patrol of the compound.

During these sort of scouting jobs nothing ever happens. We usually find a few kids doing some stupid reckless things that can get them killed and we send them back home, or we find a delusional factionless walking in circles because of some mental issues.

We walked for nearly two hours, about to bring it back to the compound before I notice something. There were two people off the side of the track, both decked out in black meaning they're from Dauntless. Damien covers his gun with his hand incase he needed to draw it, I followed in suit.

"Excuse us. Are you two alright?" I ask, catching their attentions.

"Whadda is look like?" The larger guy asks, motioning to the large gash on his friend's head. "Some ass beat em up last night. Our buddy, Marv got run over by a fuckin train cause of the lunatic who hurt us." I raise an eyebrow at the peculiar speech, and dirty faces.

"You guys from Dauntless?" Damien asks, noticing this as well.

"We were. But den we left. No need stayin in that piece of trash."

"We'd love to help you, but faction rules. No treating factionless in compound facilities. Sorry to hear about… Marv but you need to leave the premises." I say, pointing towards the distance. "You are technically still on Dauntless ground and can be put in prison for breaking faction laws." I point out.

"Well, we're not movin." The guy with the gash in his head finally says.

"Yes you are." Damien demands, his gun now clasped in his hand.

"Fine, after you pay for Marv." And then I noticed gashed head guy jumped up, pulled out his knife, and came at me. I couldn't react before his heavy hunting knife was buried deep into my left side, making me groan in pain. Damien drew his gun and shot the guy down before getting the other guy as well.

Now both were dead and I had a huge hunting knife stuck in my side. The pain hadn't kicked in yet but I was getting whoozy just looking at the blood pooling at my side.

"I need infirmary transporters out to the tracks 100m south of dauntless. Ezra has been stabbed, left side by what looks like a hunting knife." Damien demands into his walkie-talkie, my end crackling with the response that I couldn't quite hear from all the buzzing in my ears.

"Keep your eyes open, Ezra." Damien says as he wraps his uniform top around the knife and presses down to slow the blood flow.

"Pull it out." I demand, groaning at the increased pain.

"If I pull it out, you'll lose a lot of blood. Just keep still."

"Izzy, I need to tell my Izzy." I say, wanting to scream from the rush of pain.

"No, you need to stay as still as possible and wait for the infirmary medics to arrive." My eyelids felt heavy by then and I began to fade. "Hey, stay awake. Stay with me buddy." Damien had my jaw held in one of his hands and he tried to shake my head back and forth.

"You're a good big brother." I say, sort of slurred. My eyes shut when I began to hear the shouts of the medics. "The monsters turned out the light." I whisper, making Damien laugh and sob all at once because of the childhood memory. Mom and dad never knew but we always teased Phoenix about a monster being under her bed and turning off her nightlight while she was asleep. Each night we'd creep into her room and pull out the light ourselves saying, "the monsters turned out the light."

In my case, I wish they hadn't.

* * *

**What's going to happen to Ezra? Comment what you think!**

**Comment, Like, Follow :)**

**-Valentina**


	6. Chapter 6 - The Waiting Room

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 6  
The Waiting Room

**_Third Person POV_**

"Let's get him into immediate surgery." One of the medics called, ushering the stretcher towards the end of the hall.

"EZRA!" A shrill cry came from the entrance of the infirmary, Izabel began to run after her soon to be husband.

"Ma'am you have to stay back." A nurse screamed, grabbing Izzy's arm.

"That's my fiancé. You have to let me see him!" The woman sobbed, covering her stomach and collapsing to her knees when the medics turned the corner.

"He's going into emergency surgery to have the knife removed. I promise you will be the first to see him afterwards." The nurse said, her short plump body trying to comfort the crying girl.

"No, he needs me. I need to say goodbye." Izzy protested, her stomach aching from the possibility of losing the one man she loved. They fought that morning and it was her fault. How could she be so selfish?

"I've got her." Damien informed the nurse on the ground, wrapping his arms around his brothers love and lifting her to her feet. She sobbed harder and shook her head.

"No. Please don't take me away." She begged, beginning to fight again but quickly halting to throw up in front of herself. Damien instantly jumped back but still held onto Izzy, making sure she didn't fall face first into her own vomit.

"Here, take this." The nurse handed Damien a bucket and called for someone to clean the mess up. Damien led Izzy away, helping her sit in a chair and kneeling in front of her.

"Iz, he'll be fine." He promised, rubbing her knee and she continued to cry.

"I can't lose him." Izabel croaked, wiping at her cheek.

"He'll fight… for you."

"I should have kissed him goodbye." She sobbed out. "I should have talked to him instead of get mad at him. He wouldn't hate me if I just asked him to put his stuff away. He's right, I am over dramatic."

"No. You're not over dramatic, and he doesn't hate you. Ezra couldn't hate you even if his life depended on it. When he got stabbed all he wanted was to call you. He kept saying My Izzy, over and over."

"I don't want him to die."

"Neither do I." This made Damien choke up as he placed the clean bucket down and pulled Izzy forward into a hug. The two stayed like that for a long time before more people entered the waiting room.

"Where is he?" Tris was the first to speak, dragging Tobias and Mara along with her.

"Surgery." Damien answered, rising from the hug he held and running over to his parents and little sister. "The guy attacked and we didn't have time to react. I killed the guy but he got my brother!" Damien began to cry harder and Tobias and Tris held him and shed their own tears. Tears treaded down Mara's cheeks as she walked to the corner couch and sat herself down, bringing her legs up to her chest and slowly rocking.

"We called the rest of the family. Phoenix will be here soon." Tobias explained while Tris ran over to Izzy and wrapped her into a motherly embrace.

"I'm here." Phoenix came running in with Birdie in her arms, jostling with each step. "Where is he? Is, Ezra alright?" She asked with tears in her eyes.

"He was stabbed on his left side. They are doing surgery to get it out now." Damien explained, taking Birdie from his sister so Tobias could give her a hug.

"You were supposed to look after him!" Phoenix suddenly screamed at Damien, her anger flaring.

"He's 24, we were being careful and thought the guys were unarmed." Damien argued back, stepping towards his twin.

"Our brother is dying! You should have left the factionless alone."  
"That isn't our job! They were on Dauntless ground!" Birdie began to wail due to the screams.

"Stop it, now!" Tobias demanded as he stepped between the two and took Birdie.

"Come here, baby." Phoenix grabbed her daughter and walked to a chair while Damien made a fist and threatened to go after her.

"Stop!" Tobias said again, pushing his son back and glaring at him.

"How dare she blame me for this?" Damien fumed, pointing behind his dad.

"She's scared. We are all scared and don't know what to do. You were supposed to have your brothers back, but I understand that things happen and no matter how much time you had someone would have gotten hurt."

"Look if you're going to blame me, at least show some form of anger so I have a reason to leave." Damien says, his tears chocking his words.

"I'm not angry." Tobias says softly.

"But you're disappointed." With that Damien walked away, heading for the door and ignoring Shauna and Zeke as they entered.

"Mommy." Izzy whimpered as Shauna wrapped her into her arms.

"Shh, Iz he's going to be alright." Shauna promised as she took Tris' hand and squeezed it.

"I don't want to say goodbye." Her daughter sobbed, Tris began to lose her brave façade and stood from her seat, heading for the door as well. Tobias caught her and wrapped her in an embrace while Zeke joined his wife and daughter.

"H-h-he's a good boy." Tris sobbed.

"I know, he's a really good boy. With a really good smile. Just remember that." Tobias said, cuddling his face into her hair.

Alex came and began to comfort Phoenix who was trying to keep herself calm for her baby's sake.

Soon Will and Thalia joined and sat with Zeke and Shauna since Chris was assisting in the surgery.

Marlene and Uriah came with Sam and Jackson who were told to go with Thalia to the pit for a while since the waiting room couldn't hold that many people. Now everyone sat and wait, doing everything they could to keep their hopes up about Ezra surviving.

~.~.~

|| 16 Hours Later ||

**2am**

Coffee cups, food boxes, and blankets polluted the waiting room. Marlene had gone home with Thalia, Jackson, and Sam, making sure that Uriah would update her no matter what time it was.

Phoenix was sprawled out on a couch with her head on Alex's lap while he slept sitting up. Birdie was sleeping on Phoenix's chest.

Izzy was wide awake with bloodshot eyes and her leg bouncing in anticipation. Zeke had dozed off with his head against the wall and Shauna was slowing losing herself as she rubbed her daughter's back. Damien had returned but refused to talk to Tobias but did apologize to Tris. She promised that it wasn't his fault and the two shared in a long cry before he went to stand at the doorway with his back up against it and head bent back.

Tris was sitting on Tobias's lap in a larger chair, her legs draped over the armrest as she covered her mouth with the hospital blanket.

Will was asleep under the coffee table with a pillow and blanket.

Mara was asleep in her corner, her body frozen in the place it was hours ago only this time her eyes were shut.

This is where they sat, this is where they were going to stay, no matter how many times a nurse tried to kick them out.

As if it were never going to happen, someone rounded the corner. Chris came into the waiting room making Izzy jump so fast she nearly fainted from the rush of blood.

"How is he?" Tris asked as she wiped away her tears and crowded with the others around their friend.

"He's great. We got the knife out and managed to sterilize the wound. Luckily the knife didn't go all the way through, and even better it managed to slip between his stomach and pancreas. We mainly focused on getting rid of any infection he could have gotten from the knife." Chris explained making everyone release the breath they held.

"Can I see him?" Izzy asked weakly, as she shook in her own body.

"Not for the first 24 hours. We can't risk any triggers for a disease in his body at the moment." Chris said making Izzy shake even more.

"No, Chris please I need to see him." She begged, trying to step forward only to have Shauna pull her back.

"Iz, I'm only doing this in his best interest." Chris said softly, rubbing her upper arm.

"Please," This came out as a small squeak as the girl fell against her mom. Zeke took over and held his daughter close and she continued to cry.

"When he can have visitors please call us." Tobias said as he took Tris' hand.

"Of course. It's only until tomorrow. Everyone should go home and sleep." Chris said, taking off her coat and hooking it up. Her shift was over hours ago meaning the night doctors would look after Ezra.

No one said a word as they began cleaning up their messes and gathering what they needed to head home. Izzy sat down again however and refused to leave despite Zeke and Shauna's begs.

"I'm not leaving him." She demanded, making both finally give in and wrap her in the blankets. Once everyone left a nurse approached her, she had been analyzing the woman all day.

"Izabel, is there a chance that you are pregnant?"

* * *

**It's my birthday! Aww man, guys this is a fabulous day! Not only did I wake up to my wonderful family making breakfast altogether, but I also received news in the mail that I have just gotten a second writing piece published for The Young Writers of Canada. This day just keeps getting better and better :)**

**This is my birthday gift to you all, for being such great readers. Enjoy :)  
**

**Comment, Like, Follow ;)**

**-Valentina**


	7. Chapter 7 - Beautiful

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 7  
Beautiful

_**Ezra's POV**_

One beep. Two beeps. Three beeps. Well I'll be damned! I'm alive! Or alive as one can be with a possible knife still sticking out of his side.

That sure hurt like a bitch. Aww man, I should have seriously been more careful. I mean I could have left my mom, my dad, Damien, Phoenix, Mara, Izzy.

Izzy. Wait, where's Izzy! Why is my heart rate escalating? Is that her? Is she calling me?

"Ezra?" I finally peel open my eyes and sure as hell the light burns but I don't shut them because I'm on a mission to find the owner of the frantic voice.

"Izzy?" I mumble, my voice sounding somewhat like a child learning how to talk.

"Hey, babe. I'm right here." I feel her gentle fingers stroke over my head and finally tilt my head to the left, smiling when I see her face.

"You're beautiful." I whisper, flipping my hand over so I could hold her fingers and give them a gentle squeeze.

"I'm so happy to see you're awake." She laughs when I pull her hand up weakly and kiss it. "How are you feeling?"

"My side hurts but I'm happy to see you." This suddenly makes her choke up.

"I almost lost you. And I didn't say goodbye properly. And-"

"Hey, shh shh shh shh." I say quickly letting go of her fingers and wiping her cheeks that are now tear streaked. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm right here." I whisper, making her shake her head.

"No, I should have kissed you goodbye. You shouldn't be apologizing."

"Yes, I should because I shouldn't have said those things to you. I love you so much, Izzy." I say, lightly cupping the back of her head and pulling her towards me. "I'm also sorry that I didn't force you to kiss me goodbye." I say making her laugh before gently kissing her. She still cries as we kiss and then pulls back, looking me in the eyes before placing her head on my shoulder and crying as I stroke her hair with my thumb.

"I love you." She kept repeating as I rest my cheek on her head and shut my eyes to prevent the tears from falling. We sit like this for another minute before she changes her words and whispers something I nearly didn't catch. "I'm pregnant."

"Wait – what?" I say, waiting for her to lift her head up and look me in the eyes before she repeated herself.

"I'm pregnant." A smile breaks onto my face and I begin to laugh making her smile as well.

"If I wasn't in this much pain I'd be spinning you in circles right about now." I say, laughing harder when she begins to laugh herself. "I'm going to be a dad." I say in shock, gasping at the sudden realization. "Aw man I'm going to teach my son how to do everything!" I say making Izzy furrow her eyebrows.

"How do you know it's not going to be a girl?" She asks, raising an eyebrow and lightly tugging on my hair.

"How do you know it's not going to be a boy?" I contradict making her grin.

"Well let me start off by pointing out how Phoenix's first child was a girl. Damien's first child is going to be a girl. And wasn't Phoenix born before Damien?"

"Nope. Damien was the first one born. Mom didn't stop complaining to Phoenix about the extra work it took to birth her or whatever." I say with a cheeky tone.

"Fine you win that round but it still doesn't help your case. Since both of your siblings had girls first then I am only going to believe that this little swimmer is a girl as well."

"Whatever you say, babe." I pull her in for another kiss before a knock on the door breaks us up.

"Mom, Dad!" I say excitedly, watching as they run in and hug my as well as they could.

"Oh my boy, how are you feeling?" Mom asks as she strokes my hair and looks to Izzy with a big grin. She knew, that smile gave it away. Izzy took moms other hand and waited for my response.

"I'm over the moon! I'm going to be a dad." I exasperate, making both mom and dad laugh.

"Another grand-kid. Geez you guys sure now how to make a guy under 50 feel old." Dad says, causing mom to laugh and kiss his cheek.

"Mara is coming by later, she's train hopping for a little bit." Mom says, making me furrow my eyebrows.

"Is she still not talking?" I ask, making both of them nod in unison.

"But right now we are focusing on getting you better. She needs time for herself." Dad says, rubbing my shoulder.

"I'm fine, honest. Izzy is great and I have a reason to get better."

"Oh, really? And what's that reason?" Mom asks, looking to Izzy with a giggle going on between the two.

"First of all: to marry this beautiful bride. And second of all: to teach out little swimmer how to jump his first train." I say proudly.

"It's going to be a girl." All three of them say in argument.

"What is with you people?!" I ask in shock, motioning to the stomach of Izzy. "That is obviously a boy." I say.

"If Damien and Phoenix's first babies were girls then that's a girl." Dad reminds me making me shake my head.

"Unbelievable. I'm injured an all of you are arguing against me that my unborn child is a girl."

"And what's wrong about having a girl?" Mom and Izzy ask seeming hurt.

"Too much… hair." I say unsurely, making them laugh.

"Whatever you say Shaggy." Izzy rubs my curls and laughs when I kiss her wrist.

"We're so glad you're okay." Mom says gently, pushing aside our banter.

"How's Damien?" I ask, knowing that he'd probably take this out on himself.

"I talked some sense into him. Reminded him that he didn't put that knife in your side and made sure that Piper took good care of him last night." Mom says, making me smile.

"He was great. If I was in his situation I would have freaked but that was the calmest I've ever seen my brother. Is he coming today?"

"Uh about that…." Dad trails, looking to mom. Izzy and I both lift an eyebrow in question.

"Is everything alright?" Izzy asks, drawing the outline of my hand.

"Yeah but Piper went into labor this morning." Mom says, beginning to smile brighter when we both widened our eyes.

"Not only am I going to be a dad, but I'm going to be an uncle again! I should get stabbed more often." I say, laughing on my own.

"NO!" The three of them say loudly, making me halt in my laughter.

"Just kidding." I teased, raising my right hand in surrender since Izzy refused to release my left. "But seriously, hows Pipes?" I ask.

"We were here with Izzy for an hour and then your brother called telling us that Pipes went into labor so we went to see them before you woke up. She is good and very excited to meet her daughter." Mom says.

"Someone get a nurse, I need to make sure I can get out of here to meet my niece." I say, trying to sit up higher only to have Izzy push me down.

"You had a knife in your side. You're not being released for at least a week no matter how much twelve-year-old energy you have!" She stressed rising from her seat and sitting by my legs.

"Well baby, it looks like you're in great hands. Your dad and I should make our rounds, tell everyone you're okay and maybe wrangle your little sister." Mom said, leaning forward and kissing my forehead. I smile and try to hug her back, doing the same with dad who said that they'll send a nurse in on their way out.

"Love you, Bud." Dad says, taking moms hand as they leave the room. Mom blows me a kiss and I laugh once more before turning my attention to my stellar fiancé.

"So beautiful." I say making her laugh.

"You said that before." She mumbled with a slight blush to her cheeks.

"I know, I just like to make you blush." I say, making her go even pinker. "C'mere." I pull her hand and draw her to my right side where she lays on the bed and rests her head on my chest. I kiss the top of her head repeatedly and comb through her hair while we just lay there in content. Boy is it a good time to be alive.

* * *

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**-Valentina**


	8. Chapter 8 - Ace

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 8  
Ace

_**Mara's POV**_

My heart was pounding, it hasn't slowed since I put myself in the train and began my journey to the South Side and toward the other factions.

I wish it didn't feel like this. I wish doing my favourite thing didn't scare me because of the previous night when I was… assaulted.

Is that even the appropriate word for what happened? Was I really assaulted? My brother was stabbed and while Damien blamed himself, no one knows it's truly my fault.

I beat them up, and I was the reason that the creeps wanted revenge. My brother got in the way and the knife that was stuck in his side should've been in mine. I mean, it wouldn't be the first time someone hurt me.

I pull up my top slightly and trace my various scars. The most jagged one is where I was slashed when I was merely five years old. Surprisingly, my new raven tattoo covers the nasty scar on my collarbone but the rest are hard to hide.

"Nice work." I jump nearly six feet from where I sit and drop the hem of my shirt when the voice registers in my mind. A boy, probably older than me, stood at the door of the train. His blonde hair was matted in waves over his head as the wind flicked it around from behind. It was dirty, there was no denying that, but the rest of him was just as filthy. He was dressed in a ragged tank top that had various tears. Aside from the boy, I noticed a girl. She was little, no older than six and clinging to his back. She had his same messy blonde hair, only she had longer curls and cleaner hair.

The girl brought me some ease, at least this guy wouldn't try anything with her in the train us.

"I think I got you beat." The guy says, snapping me from my analysis. He peals back the edge of his shirt and turns slightly to reveal a thick scar on his left the runs from the top of his hipbone, down past his pant line. The little girl looks down as well and smiles at his side while he peers upwards and grins at me. "Not a girl of many words, are you?" I shake my head and notice him snicker. "Sounds like this load on my back." I furrow my eyebrows. "She doesn't say much either, well not to strangers that is. With me she just talks – and talks – and talks-"

"Meo!" The small girl says angrily, blushing when I laugh a little from her outburst.

"Right, we have names!" He says, stepping in the cart and placing her on the ground by his legs. "This is Desdemona, or Mona as I call her. And I'm Romeo." He looks to me expectantly, wondering if I have a name. "Right, you're mute. Okay so I'll call you Ace." Once again I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. "Ace as in magnificent. Anyone that looks like you is magnificent in my books."

"Meo, mom said not to talk to the factioned. They don't like us." Desdemona says.

"Mona, shh. Don't be rude." He abolished, crouching in front of her. "Just because a dauntless girl is on the same cart as us doesn't mean we can't speak to her." He points out.

"Just because a dauntless girl is on the same cart as us doesn't mean we have to speak to her either." The girl replies with a slight cock of her head, making him laugh.

"Be nice, Mona." He reminds her, adjusting her too big green pants before he stood up.

"So Ace, you riding for the pleasure of it?" He asks, motioning to the door of the train. I give a slight nod, making his smile grow. "I take Mona on here every other day. Makes us feel free, you know." Again, I nod. "There not a lot for us, being factionless and all. Are parents were Erudite, something went wrong and we were booted from the faction when I was five. After a few years they had Mona and now here we are. We've been train jumping ever since Mona could hold onto my back, and I've been doing it on my own since I was ten. Since you're Dauntless, I'm assuming you've been doing this ever since a much younger age. What were you, eight?"

I shake my head in the nugatory fashion.

"Seven?" He cocks an eyebrow, now seeming amused. Again, I shake my head.

"Six!" He cries out making me giggle lightly. Mona also laughed at this outburst and shoved his leg. I now motion my hand as if to say 'so-so'.

"Six and a half?" I nod furiously as he rolls his eyes and shakes his head in disbelief. "You, dauntless sure do have a death wish!" I laugh again, which makes him smile lightly.

"How old are you?" Desdemona questions, breaking out of her shell but still hiding behind her brother's leg. I raise up one finger on my right hand and then five on my other, showing I was fifteen.

"I'm five." She says proudly, making my heart clench slightly. Despite being factionless she was happy. When I was five I was freakin miserable.

"And I just turned seventeen. Are you turning sixteen this year?" Was Romeo's next question. I nod once again and move to the train door, smiling at the two of them quickly before peering out the door. I was close to my stop. Something about that made me sad. "Your stop coming up?" I nod and look at the eyes of the boy in front of me. The sun bounced off of them making it hard for me to tell what colour they were, but I could see the blue ring that slipped into brown as they hit the pupil. Glancing down I saw Desdemona had blue eyes, unlike her brother's interesting mix. "I want to see you again. How about you meet me here tomorrow, same cart-" He quickly leant out of the cart and looked up. "Number twelve, around the same time." He points to the sun when he's back in the cart, motioning to the fact that it was nearly 7pm. I ponder this for a moment, unsure of how to respond.

I was scared, and didn't want to give an answer, I simply wanted to jump off the train and never see this older boy again. But there was sincerity in his brown/blue eyes that told me he wouldn't even hurt a fly. I carefully drum my fingers on the handle of the cart door. I chew on my lip, peer out again, and look back at Romeo. He was beautiful in a messy sort of way. Before I can even process what I'm doing, I nod at him, offer a smile at Desdemona and jump off onto the landing I was waiting for.

Romeo peered from the cart and smiled at me as they were drifted away.

"SEE YA LATER, ACE!" He waves and salutes me quickly before disappearing into cart number twelve once again.

~.~.~

I made it back before eight, which is my new track time punishment. Mom and dad barely got me to listen but I heard the whole speech of not leaving to the tracks until after breakfast and returning before eight. Plus I have to go to bed at nine despite my summer break starting last week. The bedtime sticks with me for the next week. The train jumping was for life… or at least I think it is.

"Glad to see you finally decided to come home." My spine crawls when I hear the words leave mom's mouth after entering the apartment. She was in the kitchen with her phone at hand and a plate of food in front of her. I give her a slight glance before kicking off my shoes and throwing my sweatshirt onto the pile of sweaters. "You listened to dad and I about train jumping hours but you seemed to have missed the whole part on not skipping anymore meals." She says, causing me to look over at her again. "Come sit." She says, I would usually argue but I'd rather not break my silence. "Ezra was hurt you didn't come see him after he woke up." She says as I take a seat farther from her and eye the food she slides in front of me. "And you missed the birth of Pipe's and Damien's baby." She adds making me look at her wide-eyed.

"A perfect baby girl, weighing 7 pounds. Her name is Rosaline Veronica Eaton. She is all Piper and only has Damien's blonde hair. I don't know the colour of her eyes yet but she's gorgeous." I smile lightly at the thought and pick up a string bean. I nibble on it lightly while mom looks at me.

"You're shutting me out, baby. You used to tell me everything." I feel my throat close up as she says this. _Don't cry! Don't freaking cry! _I inwardly will myself to swallow my tears and grab another string bean. "Is it all because of what Chris said? Raven, there are always other ways for you to have kids." She says making anger boil in me. Sadness was gone; I couldn't believe how she kept persisting with the adoption abilities Dauntless offers. I finish my second string bean and stand up, rushing out of the room before she can grab me.

I head for my room with her close behind but before she could grab me I slam my door shut and flick the lock closed.

"Mara Rose Eaton, open the door!" She demands with panic and anger worked into her tone. I lean my back against the door and shut my eyes as the door vibrates with mom's every knock. "Open up, let's talk!" She begs as tears well up in my eyes. "Baby, please don't do this. Talk to me." I begin to sob as I slid down the door and curl up in a ball. "Raven, please don't block mommy out. I just want to help you. Please open the door!" Her pleading becomes muffled as I sob harder and lean closer to the dresser by the door, moving so then it was able to be opened incase mom did force her way it. I didn't need a door in the back today.

"I know you're hurting. Everything feels impossible, and your world is crashing down in all it's corners, but Mara, I'm here, and so is your dad. We will listen to you. We won't come crashing down. We will help fix your walls again, Bug."

I cry for a few more minutes while she knocks ever so often, this time closer to the ground meaning she was sitting against the door as well.

"You may feel broken, but your not. And even if you were, your dad and I wouldn't give up on you. We love you… I love you. In Omnia Paratus. Prepared for all things. Don't forget that, baby." After she says that my hand climbs up my legs and towards my chest where the silver locket hung around my neck. It was warm from being tucked inside my shirt. I wanted to believe the words engraved inside. But they felt like lies.

* * *

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**-Valentina**


	9. Chapter 9 - It Does

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 9  
It Does

_**Tobias' POV**_

When I returned home that night I found Tris sitting in front of Mara's closed door. She was with a pained expression on her face that made me worry.

"Tris, sweetheart?" I approach the door and kneel by her side, noticing how she has tear stains on her cheeks.

"She's hurt, Tobias." Her words were cracked and spotted with pain as her eyes caught mine.

"Physically?" I ask, unsure about how worried I did sound.

"No, but her heart. It's hurting her." She whispers, making me nod and stand up again. I test the doorknob and find that it is locked. I leave Tris for a moment and go towards our room where I open a drawer containing the keys to the doors of the house, in case these sort of situations did arise.

"Here, I got the key." I say, approaching my wife once again and taking her hand. She rises to her feet and wraps her arms around herself, making me feel a pang of sadness. I don't want her hurting but I know this is making her feel even worse than usual. I unlock the door and open it slowly, finding Mara shuffled to the left of it with her head against the dresser.

"Did she hurt herself?" Tris whispers to me as I knell by our daughter. I draw her arms from behind her legs and check for any injuries.

"She's started the wrist pinching again." I say, carefully drawing a finger over the darkened skin and cringing at the fresh bruises.

"She's seeing her therapist tomorrow. Tobias, I think this whole talking thing is really a bigger deal then we are making it seem." Tris says behind me as I carefully place my arms under and around Mara, lifting her up as though she is weightless.

"The therapist will know what to do." I say placing her down on the bed and pulling back the blankets. Before I cover her Tris reaches to remove the sweater of Mara. I help her slide it off and then tuck her in before kissing the bruise on her right cheekbone. Tris kisses her left and we both leave the room where Tris immediately crumbles into my chest.

"Baby," I sigh, stroking her hair and rubbing my face over the top of her head. "Please don't cry." I beg, kissing the crown of her head over and over again.

"She's all beat up and we don't know why! I want to scream at her to tell me but I know that won't get me anywhere. I just want her to stop with this attitude because she'll push herself over the edge and then she'll leave the faction and end up in some place she doesn't know, with the inability to come back to us when she finally realizes she needs our help!"

"Tris-" I stop her mid-rant, making her look at me sadly and her lower lip quiver with tears. "We will help her. She is Dauntless. She promised to not leave Dauntless." I saw, making her nod and blow out a shudder breath of air. "My love, that beautiful daughter of ours is in pain, I can see it too, but we can't fall under her pain as well, otherwise no one will help pull her from her darkest side."

"I miss her." Was all Tris could say.

"I miss her, too." And with that I let my tears fall.

~.~.~

_**Damien's POV **_

I sat in the dark hospital room. My beautiful, yet exhausted Piper was fast asleep on her bed, but something about sleep didn't feel right. I couldn't wrap my mind around the time or that fact that the whole compound was trying to catch some last minute sleep before the sun rose again. I was too entranced by my daughter.

She was, in my opinion, that exact definition of perfect. She looked exactly like Piper, right down to the little button nose, and while she did get my light blonde hair that seemed flat and easy to control, she had her mom's green eyes. The whole time Piper was pregnant I was begging for some godly force to make this baby have green eyes and boy am I one lucky man.

Now sitting here at 4:45am, I was stuck in a state of awe as I held my daughter and watched my wife. These girls meant more than the all the stars in sky. I could die tomorrow and know I died happy because I've had them in my life.

Of course, I'd rather not die since I've got years to come with my little flower.

"Hi, Rosie." I whisper, rubbing the area just below her hat on her forehead. She gave a noise in her sleep and opened her eyes to look at me. "You know, you are very important to me. I love you with all my heart and soul. Just don't grow too big, too fast. I'm really liking this tiny stage you're at."

"I'm scared to blink." Piper says, capturing my attention when I realize she has awoken. "It's been a few hours and I feel like years are just going to fly by with that little girl." She adds as I nod in agreement as I carefully scoot my seat closer so she could reach Rosaline.

"She's soft." I whisper as we both rub a finger over the warm cheeks of our daughter.

"Like a little teddy bear." Piper whispers with a smile.

"So snuggly." I laugh, making her giggle as well. "You should sleep, Love." I say, noticing the tired eyes of my wife. She was red-eyed and had bags under her eyes from the long 14 hour labor.

"You need to rest too." She says with a slight cock of her eyebrow.

"I'll sleep if you sleep." I promise, standing up to place Rosaline in the clear bassinet. I return to Piper's side and slide onto the bed with her, allowing her to snuggle her head onto my chest and readjust the blankets.

"Goodnight. I love you, Damien." She mumbles.

"I love you too, baby." I kiss her head a few times and finally shut my eyes, listening to the rustling of new doctors outside the door as they switch off shifts and get ready for the start of a new day.

~.~.~

_**Mara's POV**_

I had awoken early the next morning. My head throbbed but chances are, it was from all the crying. I remember falling asleep by the side of the dresser but something tells me mom and dad got in and put me to bed.

I hate hurting mom, she doesn't deserve to feel the way she does, especially after all she did for me before, and all she's trying to do for me now.

I want to tell mom and dad how bad I'm hurting, but the words are stuck, the thoughts are uncomprehend able, and in all honesty, I fear they won't love me.

I rise from bed and head for my closed curtains. The day was sunny, another beautiful day in Chicago, it did bring a small smile to my lips, only my thoughts beat it away after a minute or two of staring. I promised Romeo to meet him later, meaning I had to kill time.

I move from my spot at the window and head for the bed, preparing to make it when my view casted downward to the nightstand where a family picture sat. I saw Ezra, in the image he was my age. I hope he doesn't hate me for not being there when he woke up. I should go and see him before leaving for the tracks.

I make my bed and change into different clothes, this time replacing my skinny jeans for some tights and my old black short sleeve top for a black muscles tee. I grabbed some of my makeup and began covering the scar on my left arm where a scar remains from the house fire years ago. The one on my cheek has faded and now only shows in direct sunlight, surrounding half of my eye in a glossy pink way.

My phone showed that the time was nearing six so I creep out of my room and head to the front door where I slip on my sneakers and place a hoodie over my arm. I quietly exit the apartment and begin to walk to the infirmary, noticing the few people scattering around the halls at this time.

Some of them seem exhausted, as if this day was already taking a toll on them, while others begin to leave their apartments with cheery grins.

As I finally round the corner to the infirmary I notice Izzy walking in with a bag of food, which by my guess, is for Ezra who is always hungry.

"Hey there, Ari!" She smiles brightly when she catches me walking behind her. I give a small smile and wave while she wraps an arm around my shoulder and continues with me into the bright hallway. "How's it going?" She asks as I shrug and look her in the eyes, hoping to give off some communication. "Your brother is okay, he's doing incredible actually. The doctor even said we could try some real food on him today since the antibiotic cleared any infection." I smile again and give a slight nod of approval, meaning I was glad. We get to his room and Izzy opens the door, walking in first. "Hey babe, you've got a visitor." I poke out from behind her making the confused look on my brother disappear and turn into a happy one.

"Hey there baby sis!" He greets loudly, wrapping me in a hug while I bend over his bed and wrap my arms around his shoulders. I give her concerned eyes and thankfully he catches on as well. "I'm great, the damage is little and all I'll be left with is a scar." I cringe lightly and tug at my shirt, feeling slightly exposed since the scar on my left side can be seen under my arm due to the shirt I wore. "Mom and dad always said scars didn't make us lesser of a person, they only made us of greater importance." He says, as I watch my feet.

"Hey, Ari." Izzy catches my attention. "What'd you say to being an aunt to three little babies?" I furrow my eyebrows at the change of topic.

"Iz's pregnant." Ezra says, basking into each others eyes proudly.

Well fuck.

Am I to blame for running? I mean, I didn't want to be rude, I was happy for them, really! It's just, the pain that grew in my stomach, the way my throat tightened, it brought tears to my eyes and I didn't feel like crying.

Crying meant breaking down.

Breaking down meant reliving last night.

I was in no place to have mom and dad rush down here since I lost my shit over another sibling having a kid.

I wish it didn't hurt me like this, but it did.

* * *

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**-Valentina **


	10. Chapter 10 - Family Cat Fight

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

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Chapter 10  
Family Cat Fight

_**Phoenix's POV**_

"Alex, I'm heading over to see Ezra and Damien at the infirmary. Care to join?" I ask, looking over to my husband as he laid on the couch with Birdie sitting on his chest, babbling about a toy she kept gnawing at.

"Sure, come on princess, maybe you can waddle some of the way there." He says, plucking the child from his chest while I grabbed some shoes for her and a light sweater since it was early and obviously cold.

"Catch." I warn, tossing the black sweater his way and giggling when it lands on his head making Birdie squeal in delight.

"Laugh at me all you want," Alex says, placing the child in my arms while he pulled the sweater off his head and began to dress her. "But I can easily punish you both with tickles. I know your weaknesses." He says making me give Birdie a shocked looked.

"Uh-oh!" She said, bouncing against my hip lightly.

"Uh-oh is right. Daddy is never to be mocked." He says, dabbing her nose with his finger and blowing cool air into her face making her little eyebrows raise in confusion. I laugh and kiss her cheek, nuzzling my nose into her neck while she wrapped her arms around my head.

"Oh how I love my Bird!" I announce, twirling with her while Alex got the door open for us.

"She loves you too." Alex said as he shut and locked our door.

We walked together to the infirmary, each of us holding Birdie's hand as we hunched over and encouraged her to take each step through the halls.

~.~.~

"Alright, where's the idiot that got the knife wedged in his side?" I ask, entering the room assigned to my little brother. Izzy laughed at the words while Ezra got defensive and pointed his plastic knife at me.

"Hey, I will cut you." He warned, not even noticing my sudden attack as I flip the knife from his hand and into mine, snapping the utensil in two.

"Sure you will." I say, placing the broken pieces on his empty plate, which contained what I believe was pancakes since Birdie devoured a plate of her own a few hours ago.

"Where's my pretty niece?" He asks, discarding the plate into the garbage can by his bed, looking over the edge to see Birdie waddling towards Izzy with both hands raised for balance.

"Oh my goodness, look at her go!" Izzy cheered, scooping the little girl up and embracing her tightly before placing her on Ezra's lap.

"Sup, Birdie?" He asks, playing with her brown piggy tails that barely reached her chin.

"Ehehehe-za-za." She said, trying to get the word Ezra out, which made him beam.

"You should hear her say mama and dada." Alex says, coming beside me and running his fingers up and down my back.

"Daddaadadada!" Birdie suddenly repeated, looking to Alex with her goofy smile.

"Hi, princess." He says, giving her a soft wave, which she tried to return. Her heavy head nearly fell back but Ezra had a hand up, cupping the back of her neck.

"So, how are you feeling?" I ask, turning into the concerned sister role.

"I'm good, we had a little surprise visit from Mara today but she bolted the minute we told her Iz was expecting."

"Bolted?" Alex asks.

"Ran away so fast we didn't even know if it was worth stopping her." He says, looking to Izzy worriedly.

"You called mom, right?"

"Oh yeah, she was pissed." He said, giving off a small laugh.

"I can see why. Mara is dragging mom and dad around in this emotional rollercoaster and now she is running away for hours on end? Come on Ez, admit it, it hurt you that she didn't see you when you woke up yesterday."

"Yeah, it hurt, but she needs to work-"

"Things out! I get it." I say, shaking my head as I began to pace.

"Don't get so worked up about this." He says, slight anger edging his tone.

"Don't be such a dick!" I respond, looking to Alex when he rapidly covered Birdie's ears.

"As much as this family needs a real heart to heart, maybe lets avoid the swearing in front of the infant." He says. I point to the door and he understands immediately, picking up Birdie and leaving the room, allowing the door to open and Damien to enter after him.

"Hello my twin, and little bro!" He greets, his smile dropping when he sees our annoyed glares meeting one another's. "Whoa, family cat fight." He hisses at the sight and I flick him off before turning back to Ezra.

"She needs to talk, this is just immature." I say, returning to our conversation.

"How can a fifteen year old, trying to work out her emotions, be immature by choosing not to speak?" Ezra replies, making me groan in frustration.

"Because!" I cry out, not bothering to add an explanation.

"You're angry because she's hurting mom and dad." Ezra eggs me on.

"Of course I'm angry! Not everyone can sympathize the mute."

"Whoa!" Damien cuts in, stepping in front of me. "She has a name, at least address her and not label her as a mute." He says.

"Holy fuck, this whole family is lost in the delusion that this is only the not having kids thing that is keeping Mara like this." I say, making them raise eyebrows. "She needs to talk, if people sympathize her she will fall under the idea that she can stay quiet forever. If people push her she will snap and hopefully she will spill everything that happened." I explain.

"You sound crazy, but I understand." Ezra says, giving me a smile.

"Me too." Izzy agrees, making her presence known. Damien groans, rubs his tired face, before finally saying:

"Yeah. I understand."

"Good, now that we are all on the same page, how do we break this silence?" I sit at the end of Ezra's bed and look at all the faces. We needed to fix our sister. And fast.

~.~.~

_**Mara's POV**_

I boarded the train, cart number twelve and turn my phone off as I wait for the day to drawl on. Why did I agree to meet him at seven? The day is already taking forever to go by, now I have to wait endless hours with only my thoughts?

That sounds dangerous.

Maybe a nap, I mean I'm exhausted. Being sad drains you, at least the sun is warm and the cart is cool enough for me to close my eyes for a few hours.

So that's what I do. I lean against the corner of the cart, shut my heavy eyes, and begin to drift in the early hours of the morning.

**_Romeo's POV_**

I left my home early, after lunch was served, and began to pray that Ace would be in cart twelve like we promised. She was exquisite, and mysterious. Her eyes were piercing and something about the way she laughed made my heart leap.

I don't care if she never spoke, that laugh was intoxicating; I was drunk in love with it after yesterday.

I wish I weren't factionless, I wish I could live in Dauntless, just so then I was around her everyday, watching her beautiful long hair flow down her back in a heavy cascade of darkness.

She was beautiful, and I was trapped in this whirlwind of emotion.

~.~.~

She was in the corner, her eyes shut, her hair braided down her back, coming over her shoulder as she rested against the wall of the cart. Would she freak out if I awoken her? Should I awaken her? Would that be rude? I mean if she is sleeping, it must be because she is tired and needs rest.

Oh crap she's waking, well I can't look like I'm watching her! Boy would that scare her away.

I throw myself into the far corner and shut my eyes, popping one open momentarily to see her look at me with a gentle smile.

"I swear I wasn't watching you." I say, making her giggle as she stands up and moves to the shut train door. She hits the pad and allows the door to slide open, welcoming the strong sun against her bare arms. She sits on the edge and tangles her legs, looking to me quickly before looking back outside.

"I'm glad I could see you again." I say, moving to sit next to her and catching those intense icy eyes. She nods in agreement and down casts her eyes to my left side. "You want to know how I got this?" I ask, peeling my top upward and pressing the top of my pants downward to reveal the large scar. She nods, analyzing the eight-inch, jagged scar on my hip. She likes stories, that was an easy fact to tell.

Good thing is I like to tell stories, and she was a very good listener. Story time it is.

* * *

**Hi guys,**

**Super sorry for the lack of updating! I'm studying for provincials (Canadian Government Testing) which is basically three massive tests covering Math, Science and English.  
English is easy  
Science is alright  
But Math is the really tough subject so i've been devoting myself to it. This is just a thirty minute break I had to spare and decided to write and publish this chapter.**

**How much longer do you think Mara should stay silent?**

**Comment, Like Follow :)**

**-Valentina**


	11. Chapter 11 - I Trust You

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 11  
I Trust You

_**Romeo's POV**_

"Well, I was fifteen, so two years ago, and I was jumping this very train cart right here. I fell short and the end of the cart clipped my side, tearing it open so wide that it broke through almost all my muscle layers. Thankfully Mona was sick that day so she didn't come with me. If she had she would've gotten seriously injured, or she would have died. Anyways, I had to get back to the factionless compound but I was bleeding so much that I began to space. I collapsed four times and by the last I was at the doorstep of my home. In factionless we don't have things like medicine or stitches so I spent a whole five months in bed with a nasty infection and slowly healing wound. Thankfully it closed and I was able to move around again but those were the worse few months of my life. I was sick, and constantly throwing up. My mom would cry every time I got worse so when I pulled through after five months, it was like she would die of happiness. My mom is a good mom, you should meet her sometime." I finish explaining, jumping topics as I always do and making her hesitantly nod in agreement.

"I want to get to know you, I mean you know I have a mom and dad, and little sister. How about you? Do you have both mom and dad?" She nods, so I continue. "Sisters?" She raises a single finger. "Younger or older?" I question, moving my hand down when I say younger and moving it up when I say older. She moves her hand up. "How old?" Her fingers show two on one hand and then she raises eight fingers all together. "28?" A nod.

"Okay, how about brothers?" She shows me two fingers and then raises her hand up twice. "Ages?" She shows me 28 and then 23 with her hands. "Wow, so you're the baby of the family?" I got a giggle, I laughed too.

"How about that scar?" I ask, remembering when I entered the train yesterday and I saw it. "I know you don't talk, so why don't you write it down. Write your whole story and I'll read it. You don't have to, but I want to get to know you, Ace. The only way possible would be if you wrote it down. Can you do that for me?" She looks to her legs for a moment, I can sense the pain she feels, but then her head rises and falls, meaning she agrees.

"The Story of Ace. See I already gave you a title." She snickers and looks up at me, tears brimming her eyes. "This isn't a happy story, is it?" She shakes her head and fervently tries to wipe at the single tear that tumbles down her cheek.

"You don't have to worry about crying in front of me." I say, slowing her quick hand and moving it away. This is the first time I've touched her. She is cold to the touch but her skin is soft unlike mine, which is dusty and callused. "Crying doesn't make you weak. I don't know what they teach you in Dauntless, but to me crying is brave. It proves that you can unravel yourself and become a raw human. If getting to the Raw Ace within you means crying, then I will wipe each tear away until you get there." She gives a weak smile and moves her hand away, allowing me to wipe her cheeks with my thumb.

"I want to take you somewhere, it's a pond. A miles walk from the end of the northern tracks." She shakes her head in the nugatory fashion. "Why not?" I question. She points out the train to the left, giving a nod, but when she points to the right she shakes her head.

"You're not allowed?" I ask, she nods with a sad look to the tracks below. "We don't have to get caught." I say, obviously making her perk up. She seemed like the rebellious type… something about that makes me love her.

I watch her for another moment before her hand beckoned me to jump with her at a patch of grass. I raised an eyebrow and then nodded, rising to my feet and offering her a hand, which she hesitantly accepted. I jumped with her and barrel rolled, laughing at the grace she held when she landed on both feet with ease.

"So where are you taking me Ace?" I ask, following her through the grass. She turned with a smirk, walking backward as she shrugged lightly, causing her long hair to slip from over her shoulder. There was a bird tattoo on her collarbone that I'd somehow missed.

"A crow?" I question, pointing to my own collarbone as an example. She shakes her head and looks around for a moment before grabbing a strand of her dark hair and pointing at it.

"Black…." I say, not getting very far with her hints. She shakes her head again and stops, picking up a stick and kicking some dirt around. She carves the word 'Raven' into the ground and I give a smile.

"It looks good on you." I say, giving her a smile, which she returned. "Now where are we going?" I ask again and she rolled her eyes, grabbing my wrist and dragging me forward again. I laughed at her persistence and happily followed her.

We walked for a while longer and then stopped at the large stonewall blocking us off from the rest of the world.

"We can't climb it I say." She lifts a finger, telling me to wait, before going to a cracked part of the wall and pulling out a box of markers. Suddenly I wasn't so confused anymore.

"You draw on the wall?" I ask. She nods and heads towards a different part of the wall. She had many different drawings ranging from abstract to simple cartoons.

It was intricate and all came together to produce this mass image reaching as high as she could and meeting the ground where she drew tiny flowers and trees. "This is beautiful." I said, stepping closer and running my fingers over a few random drawings. The closer I looked, the darker the images got. There was a burning house, three head stones, and what looked like a bunch of wires connected to a machine reading the words DIVERGENT. Those wires connected the drawings and it suddenly made my stomach curl.

"What's this?" I whispered, noticing three men dressed in dark clothes, huddled around what looked like a girl. Tears started to fill her eyes again and soon she kneeled to the floor, shaking with tears as she picked up one of her many black markers and started to write.

_I was two when a man killed my mother. She and I were factionless, living in an alleyway. I don't remember the man, I only remember the blood._

_An abnegation couple saw it all happen, they protected me, begging the angry man to leave. I was taken home and raised for three years by an ageing couple with no kids. At least that's what I thought._

_They broke the rules bringing me into there home. That's when their son, who moved to Erudite, tried to burn the house down when I was four. I made it out alive but they burned to death. _

_I was taken to Erudite, to live with their son since he was the eldest child. Caleb didn't want a kid and refused to take me in. My adoptive mom learned later on that he was the reason for the fire._

_I was brought to Dauntless next where Tris and Tobias Eaton took me in. I became their youngest daughter. They had 16 year old twins and a 10 year old son at the time. Damien, Phoenix, and Ezra are my siblings. _

_A year after living with the Eatons I was at school when I was taken out of class by my Uncle Caleb. I was confused but he told me he was nice. We went to an old abandoned house. The same house that I was in during the fire. _

She stops for a moment and begins to sob harder. I was afraid to hug her, not knowing how this was going to end with her. She took some strong inhales and then breathed out before writing on the wall again.

_He tested me, electrocuted me, trying hard to discover if I was Divergent._

She raises her right hand and tucks her hair behind her ear and then exposing her scalp. There was a black mark near her hairline.

_I was Dauntless. His tests proved it. Then he let four guys have their way with me. They beat me, cut me,_

The next word was written in slow, wobbly letters.

_Raped me._

She looks at the words blankly and chews her bottom lip, wiping at her eye.

_My mom and dad rescued me. They did so much for me. I was in a coma, severely malnourished, and slowly dying, but they never gave up on me. My mom stayed at the hospital with me for months. I started to get better and now I'm here. Turns out that what happened to me when I was 6 is preventing me from having kids ever. This is partly why I don't speak.  
_

"What's the other part?" I ask.

_I was running on the tracks one night, and three factionless men found me. They tried to do things to me so I hurt them, or tried to at least._

"Did they do anything bad to you?"

_Almost… they scared me._

"I want to hug you." I whisper, noticing as more tears race down her cheeks. She gives a gentle nod and I envelope her close, whispering gentle words of comfort into her ear. "Thank you, for sharing this with me." I say, noticing her arm wiggle free and write three words under it all. These letters weren't wobbly like the others. They were neatly written down.

_I trust you._

* * *

**Leave it to Mara to pull at you heart strings. **

**How is everyone? I've been all over the place lately, and I'm scrambling to study for my last two exams before my summer break begins. First is math on Tuesday and then English on Wednesday. English is easy peasy. Math is a pain in my ass. **

**Oh well, I've just got to give it my all. **

**I'm getting into DJing now. Like making Mashups and what nots. It's entertaining and it helps me relax during my study breaks. Any good programs that people can recommend? How about songs that sound good together? **

**Comment, Like, Follow :)**

**-Valentina**


	12. Chapter 12 - When Fear Consumes You

Chapter 12  
When Fear Consumes You

_**Mara's POV**_

After crying for a solid thirty minutes my body began to grow warm and soon I was running from Romeo and towards a bush. I made myself sick and began to shake with each retch.

Romeo held my hair, which was pointless since I wasn't really throwing up anything. It was more gagging and sobbing.

"You should get home." He whispered, rubbing my back carefully. I whimper and shake my head no, standing up straight once again and wrapping my arms around myself. "Ace, you're sick. You put yourself through a lot today." He approached me and I flinched, instantly regretting it when I see the look of pain on his face. My eyes caught his and I attempted an apology, which he caught and gave a nod to. I wobbled my way back to the wall and wait for his shadow to appear next to mine before picking up the fallen marker and writing _I'm worried you'll never come back. I don't want to lose you._

"Look, we can meet up here again whenever you're ready. I'll come everyday and wait for you, if it takes two days, or two weeks. I promise you, I won't leave."

_Promise? _I wrote.

"I could never break it." He replies with a grin, which I weakly returned. "Now let's get you on the train and back home." He offers me his hand and I gently take it, allowing him to guide me towards the tracks once again after I placed my black markers away. "By the way, the wall looks incredible. I didn't know you could draw like that." I shrug and wipe at my cheeks with my free hand. "Maybe next time you can write your name on there. As much as I love calling you Ace, I'd like to get to know who you truly are." I give him and slight nod and allow a smaller smile to grow on my face. He had an effect on me.

He mad my tears lighten.

My smile grow.

Maybe this boy isn't so bad after all.

**_Tris' POV_**

Tobias, the twins, and myself all sat in the living room waiting for a specific person to enter the apartment. Ezra wanted to be here but he's bed-written for the next three weeks. When visiting him, the kids all explained to us how we should host an intervention of some sort and attempt to get Mara to speak again. The first one is to be intimate, that next one would involve the rest of the family.

My knee bounced, Tobias chewed on the skin around his thumb and Phoenix wrinkled her forehead every so often as if she were in deep thought.

"Damn it, you are all really freaking out about this." Damien says, breaking the silence.

"What else are we supposed to be feeling, Damien?" Tobias says a little to sharply. I glare at him for his tone and he immediately amends himself. "Sorry, it's just hard. I don't want her getting hurt again." He says softer while Damien raises his hands in surrender.

"Hey, I get it. No one wants to see Mara get herself back in the hospital. I'm just saying how we can all chill out a little. We're trying to get her talk, not dealing with her threatening to shoot us all. So no more knee bouncing," my knee stopped moving. "or nail biting." Tobias removed his hand from his mouth. "and for God's sake Phoe, you're going to get wrinkles at the rate you furrow you eyebrows."

"Be quiet, for once in your life." Phoenix said with anger.

"Okay, little miss you need to cool it with your brother. He's right, we need to calm down. It's Mara, she's a reasonable person." Tobias says, making her snort.

"Reasonable?" She questions. "Sure maybe on Mars."

"Enough, Phoenix. I get it that your frustrated with Mara but you need to also quit making snide remarks about her. She's a good kid." Damien retaliates making her chew her lip.

"Reasonable is an overstatement for Mara. She is far from reasonable. She likes it her way, or no way." Phoenix fires back making me speak up.

"Enough! Both of you. We are a family, so if one of us is hurting, we all hurt. Now Phoenix you have every right to feel however you feel about Mara but she is still your sister. She has feelings and she needs us so stop making those remarks unless you have a solution to them." This seems to put her in her place, but she just gives a groan and returns to her angry concentration with furrowed eyebrows in between each thought.

Five minutes passed and the door creaked open making us all turn our attention to Mara.

"Hi baby," I say, standing up. I could instantly tell there was something off about her. "Where've been?" She doesn't respond as she turns away and shuts the door softly. As I get closer I notice her even paler look and a tinge of green to her face. "Are you sick?" I ask, lifting my hand up to feel her forehead. She flinches, making my heart break slightly. "You're warm." At that moment, I knew an intervention wouldn't be of use.

"I'll get her bed set up." Tobias says, rising from his place at the couch.

"No, put her in our room." I reply, helping Mara rid herself of her shoes and instinctively placing my hand on her chest, just below her neck. As suspected, her heart was racing and I knew that she was only going to get sicker from here.

"Do you have to throw up?" I ask skeptically, beginning to lead her to our room. She shakes her head and shuts her eyes, bringing our walking to a halt. I watch her carefully; analyzing my daughter with such intensity you'd think she was still six and staying in the hospital. Just as her body sways lightly I notice a light spot of blood fall from her nose and land on the floor by our feet. When I look down to see the blood my eyes draw up again to see blood flooding out of her nose.

My heart raced as I screamed at one of the kids to get a towel while I eased her to the floor and tipped her head forward, allowing the blood to drain faster.

"What's wrong with her?" Tobias asks as he collapses next to me and helps Damien shove a towel under her chin.

"I- I don't know! She got dizzy and then her nose started to bleed heavily. Her heart is racing, Tobias. What do we do?" I ask in flurry of words while he does the same thing I did and places his hand on her chest to feel her beating heart.

"Get her into our bed, Phoenix go get a cold water bottle made and grab two wash clothes and place some ice in them."

I instantly knew what Tobias was trying to do so I hurry with my daughter to gather the stuff while Damien and Tobias lifted Mara off the floor.

"Why's this happening?" Phoenix asks quietly as she grabs some ice from the freezer.

"About two years after Ezra moved out Mara started having some anxiety. Chris discovered that her anxiety only flared up when she was sick and something traumatic happened. If she isn't cared for during this it can be… well things may not end well." I explain in a small choke at the end. Freezing my hands at the sink where water over-soakes the towels.

"Tris!" I hear a sudden cry for my name, snapping my head to my room. I instantly drop the towels and run out of the kitchen, hearing the sink turn off before an intense cough echoes through the apartment. When I get to the room Damien is standing by the bed edge while Tobias is behind Mara, rubbing her back as she splutters and hacks into the towel, causing her nose bleed to intensify.

"I'll get a bath going, Damien grab her a change of clothes and call Chris." I say frantically, heading for our washroom and flipping the tap on. The tub instantly begins to fill and I'm in near tears as my patience wears thin with the time it takes to even reach a quarter of the way.

Another cough comes from Mara and I leave my place at the tub to be by her.

"Thanks for grabbing the stuff, babies." I say when I see a very nervous looking Damien and Phoenix standing at the door. "Put the stuff on the dresser." I say, heading over to Mara's side and peeling off her shoes and socks. I pull at the arm hole of her tank top and notice she has a sports bra below. Despite the situation and how I could care less if she was stark naked in the tub, I didn't want to cause her anymore distress with the knowledge that her siblings are seeing her like this.

"She's got a sports bra, I'm taking off the top." I inform Tobias, he nods and lightly presses her forward, away from his chest. I peel the sweat soaked tank top off her thin frame and toss it to the floor with the shoes.

Minusing a layer seems to help seeing as she gasped in some air, and coughed a semi-less heavy cough.

"Get her in the tub." I say, Tobias rises and picks Mara up with ease before walking her to the bathroom and gently placing her in the warm water. All the while he whispers words of comfort and is teaching her how to take deep breaths. I watch as she allows her body to go less rigid in the water and slowly begins to close her eyes. The water trick was something we picked up when we found basic human-contact hardly did any good when it came to these panic attacks.

"Just let it all in. All the air and goodness around you." I hear Tobias whisper before turning my attention to Damien and Phoenix.

"How could you not tell us?" Phoenix questions, addressing our silence about these attacks for over 6 years.

"I can explain." I whisper before taking my children to the living room.

* * *

**New chapter! Writers block hit me hard with this one, I'm still doubting if this was the right move with Mara and the whole Eaton family.**

**In other news I have a Pitch Perfect Fanfic coming soon. And by soon, I mean later today ;) It's a Bechloe fanfic (Beca and Chloe) and I am very excited for it.**

**How are all of you? **

**Anyone have advice for me? I'm starting a new school this September and I am so scared. Scared beyond my wits. I've begged for homeschool but my parents are against it 100%. I'm worried that I'll be bullied again and then feel guilty about all the things i dragged my parents through the last couple of years. I feel like if it happens again I'll want to hide it and deal with it on my own, but that might only put me back in a bad place. I'm so scared guys. I just don't know how to explain this to them. **

**Comment, Like, Follow :)**

**Valentina**


	13. Chapter 13 - Less Scary

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 13  
Less Scary

"She was about 10 years old when they started. You guys remember the fire that started in the kitchen while ago?" They both nod. "Well that's what triggered it. The screams of the kitchen staff really got her. It was like she was having a heart attack. Tears, rapid heartbeat, profusely sweating, and then the bleeding from her nose and mouth. Chris was there luckily and managed to get her under control before we brought her to the infirmary. She was physically healthy aside from the spiked blood pressure and the bloody nose and mouth is still a mystery but the panic attacks are just intense according to all the doctors that had a look at her. There's no medication to help it, no proper way to even deal with it. She has a flashback or a traumatizing experience and this happens. Your dad and I didn't want to frighten any of you and they rarely happen-"

"Rarely happen?!" Damien demands. "How the hell do you know exactly how to deal with it then?"

"Because we listen to her. We look at her signs. This is the eighth time in six years. It's still an observation sort of reaction between your dad and I. The bathes were always something we did with you kids. Whenever one of you were stressed out what did you do?" I question making them nod lightly.

"We took bathes." They say in unison, proving my point.

"What on earth would posses you from not telling us? What if one of us had her around when something like that happened?" Phoenix asks next.

"Like I said, something traumatic has to happen. If she was under your care for a certain period of time I highly doubt anything traumatic would happen." I point out.

"It still would've been nice to know." She says begrudgingly.

"Yeah, we could've helped." Damien added making my heart melt.

"You guys did so much today. Your dad and I love to see your desire to protect Mara." I quickly glance to my room again before adding, "Right now though we have to worry about the cause of this attack. Phoenix was right. What happened with the not having kids thing isn't what got Mara to stay quite. Something bad happened to her and I think it has a connection to the night she went to you, Damien."

"How do you propose we find out?" Damien questions, getting up to answer the door when someone knocks at it.

"I called Chris over for a reason." I say, giving a weak smile when the door opened to reveal my frantic friend.

~.~.~

_**Mara's POV**_

I felt exhausted. My head was pounding. And I currently waded in a tub of pink tinged blood.

Was my nose still bleeding?

Dad carefully felt my heartbeat again and gave a smile.

"Well your heart doesn't feel like it's about to pop out at any moment, anymore." He says, reaching for the drain. The water begins to drain slowly but I ignore it and shut my eyes again. Dad wipes a wet towel under my nose and around my mouth. He does this repeatedly, probably trying to get rid of all the blood.

"Can you stand?" He asks skeptically, brushing my hair back as I give some more coughs. I shake my head and he understands, rising from the floor and heading to the bed quickly. I don't see what he does but slowly I feel myself drifting off to sleep. Soon my body is being lifted from the tub despite being drenched and dad is placing me on the bed. I realized he must've left me to cover the bed in towels so then I don't soak the seats with my under clothes.

"Chris is here." I heard mom say at the door, keeping my eyes shut all the while as feet shuffled around the room and arranged themselves once again.

"Hey beautiful." Chris whispers, stroking her fingers over my forehead until I opened my eyes for her. She's got that loving smile on her face and I weakly return it. "I know you must be exhausted but do you think I could quickly look you over?" I shrug so she proceeds to checking my heart beat, temperature, and blood pressure.

"Heart rate is normal. Her temperature is skimming below a fever and her blood pressure is relatively high. I'll get her some medicine for that." She says to mom and dad. "Alright sweets, does your chest hurt? Is there any pressure at all?" I give a gentle nod. "Scale of one to ten?" I raise up six fingers. "I'm going to press around your chest and you tell me where the pain is." She begins to prod along me chest line and along the edge of my bra before I stop her at my chest cavity.

"She was coughing heavily during the attack." Mom says softly. The bed shifts next to me, and mom is soon combing her fingers through my hairline.

"It's probably just some after-aches then. If it's a bruised chest cavity then this pain could last for a little over a week. Does your stomach hurt?" She asks. I shake my head. "Any need to throw up?" I consider this for a moment before shaking my head again and rubbing the bridge of my nose. "Headache?" I nod at this and give two more coughs.

"Advil should work, right?" Dad questions, heading for the washroom.

"Yeah, only one tablet though. Blood Pressure pills won't work if the Advil overpowers them." Chris informs him. "Okay let's just see how coherent you are. Touch all your fingers to your thumb." She demonstrates the simple action and I follow in suit. First using my right hand, and then using my left. She smiled in satisfaction before looking to mom. "She's healthy aside from the after effects of the panic attack. Which means Mara here has some explaining to do." Both Chris and mom glanced at me. This was a low way to corner me. They knew very well that I was too weak to run, therefore I was trapped to listen to them.

"Come on, Mara. Tell us what's going on in that head of yours." Mom says gently, cupping my cheek. I shake my head in refusal, looking to my right side where no one was standing. "Look at me, Baby. You can't continue going on like this." Mom continues, not forcing me with touch but using her authoritative motherly tone. "You're hurt. And when you hurt you shut the world out. And that is no way to live your life, Mara. Fear can't control you forever." Oh how I wish I could reply by saying that I'm doing everything in my power to fight against this piercing fear.

"She's exhausted. Maybe you should rest for a few hours and then come to dinner." Dad supply's, crouching by my right side and stroking back my hair. "At your pace, Mara. We're your safety net. When your ready to fall, we'll catch you." He says gently, pecking my forehead and ushering the family out of the room. He leaves a cup of water and the pills I need to take by the bedside table.

_~.~.~_

_**Tobias' POV**_

"Tobias, why'd you do that? We were trying to get her to speak to us." Tris says to me in a hushed tone as we head for the kitchen.

"She's overwhelmed, I wasn't going to push her health because we want her to do something that she doesn't feel comfortable with doing with right now." I say back, ignoring the fact that I had agreed with forcing her to speak not an hour ago.

"Something happened, she's shut herself off. What if someone said something to her. What if she was ra-"

"Don't finish that sentence." I say angrily but still in a quiet tone. Tris shakes her head and drags me out of the apartment.

"I know you don't want to think about it but it could've happened. She's scared and she's hiding. From us. Her parents. It's our job to protect her and if it means we have to force her to do something she doesn't want to do to get the truth out, then I'll do anything. She is hurting herself more than she needs to and that's frightening." I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from lashing out, knowing very well Tris was doing the right thing to help our daughter. "If you have any better ideas, then by all means go right ahead." She says, motioning for me to speak. I bite back my tears and breathe harder.

"I don't want her to feel like we are hurting her." I say, shaking my head.

"It's been a week! She's starving, crying herself to sleep, holding all those emotions in and she's going to lose it. She's going to do something that'll take everything we love away."

"Stop it, Tris!" I say in a sob. "I won't lose her."

"Then help her!" She fires back, tears falling down her cheeks.

"I don't know how." I say as I press my hands to my face. "I'm her dad. She always said that daddy fixed everything but I can't fix this and it's scary." I say as I cry harder. We don't speak anymore; instead Tris placed a hand on my shoulder, a test to see if I'd pull away. When I don't move she pulls me forward slightly until she's holding me in her tiny arms.

"I know you're scared." She says past a sniffle. "I wish it'll be as easy as it was when she was little and we could sing to her as the three of us hid under the blankets, but it isn't. She's holding on to the dark things and a blanket won't hide her from them. We pick the bad cards in life, but we won't give up until we pick a good one again." I felt guilt for making Tris comfort me when this tore her apart to the point of noticing the glint of pain in her eyes, but it felt good. I needed this. I needed my wife, despite being small and defenseless to our worries, to hold me and tell me that our world was crappy but we could make it better. She made the scary parts a lot less scarier than I ever realized.

* * *

**Thank you all for the high school advice.  
**

**I'm glad you're enjoying this story :)**

**Comment, Like, Follow :)**

**Valentina**


	14. Chapter 14 - A Grave For My Heart

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 14  
A Grave For My Heart

_**Tris' POV**_

Another week passed, Mara staying in her bed the whole time and only leaving to use the washroom and the occasional meal where Tobias or I managed to pull her from bed.

Ezra said he wouldn't be surprised if the next time he saw his younger sister was when she would be admitted to the infirmary for malnourishment and mental issues. This didn't play well with either Tobias or I, seeing as we were already filled with dread for this possibility and didn't need our son to increase this daunting fear on us.

"Couldn't get her out today?" Piper asks as she holds Rosaline at the dinner table and steals the occasional bite of her rice or chicken, which Damien helped feed her.

"We'd have to drag her here by the hair." I say, holding the baby's small foot and stroking the footie-covered area. "She's getting bigger." I say, smiling at the wide-eyed baby.

"Put on two pounds already." Piper said in an awe like whisper.

"They tend to do that a lot." I joke, trying to get the conversation back to a lighter note.

"Hey, sorry I was late for dinner." Tobias said as he hurriedly took a seat at the table and kissed my cheek. "I finished work and wanted to check on Mara real quick since you texted me saying she's refusing dinner again." He explained, starting on his plate that I got him at the start of the meal.

"How was she?" I question, shoving my rice around.

"Sleeping. I got her some water and a muffin in case she woke up hungry." I nod and thank him, leaning into his chest as we listen to the rest of the table conversation. "So I have to leave for the weekend." Tobias says mid-way through his plate, the words coming out carefully since he knew the stress it would bring.

"What? Why?" I question, looking at him in sudden panic.

"Control room had some major glitch. All the government info we were given access to was locked so it's my job to head over to Erudite to figure out why and how we can reboot that info."

"Can't someone else do that?" I question, knowing it sounded selfish but not wanting to deal with Mara in the state she was in.

"I'm sorry, babe. But Danny doesn't work with the government like I do. I have greater authority and the knowledge of what we need back. No one else can go. You know I don't want to leave you with her like that but I'll be quick about it and return home as soon as possible." He says, grasping my hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Okay." I agree, thinking about how I have two days until my husband leaves and I have to face the worry of watching Mara 24/7 until he returns.

~.~.~

Two days flew by and I was giving Tobias a kiss goodbye before he left the apartment early Saturday morning. I was now alone with Mara who sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea in front of her that she took two tiny sips from.

"Are you up for some breakfast?" I ask, going next to her and stroking her curls. She shrugged as usual and stirred the warm liquid. "If you don't want to go the cafeteria I can make you some toast. Please, at least eat something." She glances up at me and locks her eyes with mine. "For me, my love." She nods lightly and I give a soft smile, heading for the tall cabinet where I pull out the bread and place it into the toaster. As I waited for her food she gathered her hair into a ponytail, revealing her neck. Those red spots still marked her back where she nearly broke her spin, but what caught my eye was the ghastly way her spin protruded, proving that the lack of eating was catching up to her. Even through her muscles tee I could see her ribs protruding more so and her tights hung looser than they originally should have.

"Hey kid," I say softly, bringing her food over and leaning against the table as she looked at the toast. "I was thinking that after your doctor's appointment we could visit Birdie and Rosie. They need to see their Aunt after all." I say, waiting for a reaction.

A smile.

A spark.

Something?

Nothing.

Silence.

I hate it.

"Eat what you can. I'm going to shower real quick and then we can head over to the infirmary." She nods as I leave the room, knowing very well that her food was headed for the garbage the minute I closed the bathroom door.

_**Mara's POV**_

We arrived at my appointment in time. A new doctor introducing herself as Dr. Snow, and explaining that with a case like mine a doctor of her kind (specializing in both medical and psychological well being), would be a good fit. Mom was fine about it, I was asked for permission to go along with the check-up. I numbly agree and turn off my mind as we follow the same check up plan, right down to my nether regions being looked at. The only thing I was grateful for was the fact that this was every two months now unlike when I was much younger.

"So you've dropped eight pounds, Mara." The doctor began, giving my mom and I the final evaluation. "I'm supplying you a mass supplement. Only much stronger. It's to be taken once a day. Only once. Twice would only cause great problems so please be cautious and keep an eye on your dosages. Aside from the weight lose you seem to be healing your injuries you presented two weeks ago and there isn't anything physically concerning aside from the weight. Try to eat more, dear. You'll feel better when you start doing that." I give a small nod as she turns to mom, handing her the orange bottle.

Two pills were a problem. What about the whole bottle?

~.~.~

I saw Ezra before we left. Trying to be slightly happier in his presence, which seemed harder than usual. Izabel and he were grateful I stopped by, if only they knew mom made me go.

I couldn't get out of lunch, mom did let me sit on my own however and I was glad to have privacy so I could sit in peace and prod my salad. I hate salad but I wasn't going to eat the meat they were serving today, plus it was easier to hide the fact that you aren't eating leaves by ripping them into small chunks.

I could see my friends. Or old friends sitting at a far off table. They were being loud as usual and one of them yelping in surprise is what drew my attention that direction. Other than that I had no interest in acknowledging their existence.

Wesley seemed slutier than I originally perceived her to be, seeing as she was making out with some guy while the commotion continued around them. Kayla was indulged in making a show of herself, standing on the table and being her outgoing self. And finally Trixie, the quieter one who made me apart of their group, was laughing at Kayla, tossing some crumpled napkins at her friend, looking around as Kayla squealed, probably to see how many people were watching. She and I caught eyes; I instantly look to my plate and scoop it up, exiting the cafeteria in a hurry, not taking my chances with her coming to talk to me.

~.~.~

She hid it. Mom had the whole stash of pills tucked into the back of the third drawer of their dresser. I only noticed this because I was quiet enough not to get caught when she grabbed an Advil the other day.

I knew very well it was to prevent me from killing myself but I guess it didn't work well enough. I had that same orange bottle from today gripped in my white knuckled hand at I sat in the middle of the boys old room. It's a guest room, with a bed off to the side and nothing but a rug in the middle. I peel the rug away and glance to the marker stained floor. I had to do something while everyone was gone during the day.

Just like the wall, the floor was my masterpiece, and in the center were my thoughts. Every painful thought that coats my brain and keeps me trapped in this dark cloud.

_An orphan._

_A prisoner._

_A Murderer. _

_Can't hide from what's inside._

_Buried deep in my mind. _

_Dig me a grave. Lay me inside. Fill in the hole._

_Let my heart soar._

_I run fast, shutting my eyes. My heart wins the war._

_I wish I could fight. I wish I could win. _

_But all attempts are futile and I'm trapped here._

_Listening to my mind whisper sweet nothings. _

_I move slow, open my eyes. The sky is bright._

_Like the smile between the gloom._

_I'm not ready. My armor is torn. _

_How can I win a fight if I'm halfway gone?_

_A daughter._

_A sister._

_A Survivor._

_Words scream. Brain creeks. But I'm louder than ever before._

_I fill my grave, with thoughts of death. _

_Bury them six feet under, where it's too hard to hear._

_I feel lighter than a bird, falling from the sky. _

_My heart may plummet, but my soul can fly._

_Here's to new beginnings. _

_Cheers good friends._

_Until the dark is gone._

_I pray to be free once again._

"Mara!" I hear a frantic voice; although distant it's still there. My mind is foggy but I'm coming back to my senses. Suddenly I'm jerked back to life by the woman at the door.

* * *

**WHAT HAS MARA DONE!?  
**

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**Valentina**


	15. Chapter 15 - Not Thinking

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 15  
Not Thinking

"What are you doing in here?" Mom questions, entering the room slowly. She glances to the marked up floor and gives a soft smile. "Of course paper and pen never worked for you." She says teasingly, sitting next to me and glancing towards the bottle in my hands. Her smile falls instantly, yet she keeps her cool surprisingly well. "Does it hurt that much, Mara?" She asks me, I nod in agreement. "Did you take any?" She questions next, placing her hand on my wrist lightly, not to grab but to have my skin on hers. I shake my head once more and she sighs out in relief.

Carefully she grabs the bottle from me and places it far from my instant reach, turning back to me with a gentle face of understanding.

"You wake up each morning and it's like a rock is sitting on your chest. It takes ten times the effort to take each breath and it just hurts even more as the days roll by. You can count each hour, minute, second. Your mind works like a clock. It never ceases to remind you how slow your life it moving." I shudder out a breath as she continues. "Mara, my love, your world is frightening and there are things that I can't see for myself, but you can't carry them on your own. I can't protect you from these pictures." She motions to the floor and lightly runs her finger over one of the hundreds of ravens I have scattered between images. "It's okay to not be okay. But you can't stay broken forever. You can't hide from pain and sometimes the only way to get rid of it is by taking that ball of emotions within and releasing it for the world to see. It's messy and complicated but that's why we're around. People in your family are there to help clean up the aftermath of your emotions, and we are in no place to judge. All you have to do is tell me what's wrong." Her thumb grazes over mine and I watch as a single tear falls from my eye and lands on my shoe. She lightly adjusts my ponytail and strokes my cheek, trying to catch my eyes. "Please, My Little Raven. You can't let the fear consume you."

My heart twinges and something breaks the damn within me. I curl forward and place my head on my knee where I start to sob, shaking my head as I lean slightly so my head is closer to mom.

"Oh, Mara." She says in a sob, pulling me up to her chest and holding my head right where I can hear her heart beating.

"It hurts, Mama." I sob, saying what I feel just as she requested. "It hurts so much!" I smoother closer to her, nearly ending up in her lap as she kissed the temple of my head and cried with me.

"Oh my love. Don't cry baby, just talk to me. I love to hear your voice. I love you, Mara." She strokes my hair and at one moment I realize that she is clinging to me much like I am clinging to her. "What hurts?" She asks me.

"My heart." I say in a whisper by her ear, feeling my walls crumble.

~.~.~

I woke up on the couch, my eyes heavy from the sleep and all the tears I cried. Mom's hand was rested over mine, her body rested in a seated position by the couch. She was asleep with her head tilted back by mine. I could smell her shampoo; it was familiar and warm in my mind. Her smell did little to comfort my uneasy feeling, wanting to bolt at any second so my mind could process everything.

I don't even think as I start to peel away from mom, carefully creeping over the couch edge and walking for the door. It was a few years back when dad told me I acted without thinking a lot of the time. This conversation was brought up after I punched an older boy for kissing Trixie without her permission. The school didn't like it very much and despite them being proud for me sticking up for my friend, mom and dad knew very well that I did wrong. I wasn't supposed to be violent, but I am. I hurt people without even thinking about it, and it's wrong on my part.

So that's why I run now, because I'm not thinking. I don't know what's bringing it on, or where I'm going but instead of the train doors, I go for the ground floor gates.

To leave Dauntless towards a rather fielded area (just before the city gate), you need permission to get past by the standing guards. This gate keeps the factionless out and while I could go and talk to the guard, I know very well that I'd need a valid reason. Dauntless use the train, that's the agreement.

This doesn't mean I can't climb the barbed wire fence. How hard can it be anyways?

As long as I press myself to the top and jump the sharp tip wire, then I can be in the clear.

As I maneuver my feet through the gate holes, my hands begin to callus from the awkward grip. I move frantically, not wanting to draw the securities attention my way.

"Hey!" A voice shouts as I look to my feet to make sure I'm set for a jump. "What are you doing?!" A gruff man demands as I look at him wide eyed.

"Fuck." I say, slipping my left foot somewhere and lunging forward.

"No, don't do that! Shit, Jerry her sides stuck!" My mind begun to process that my left foot got stuck on my lunge and while I went down, the barbwire hooked my skin along with my shirt. I was suspended for a moment, just by my foot and skin, when suddenly both came loose and I went plummeting to the ground on the other side. I loosen my body and prepare for impact, tucking my chin to my chest to avoid my neck cracking. The floor came quickly and I felt my shoulder crack on the floor, pain flashing through my whole body as I choke on my tears.

"Open the gate. Call the infirmary." I flex both hands and point my feet before deciding to push myself off the ground with my left arm since my right shoulder protested all movements. "Whoa don't move. Please, stop." The guy begs, trying to press me down only for my leg to shove him away.

"Leave me alone!" I demand, stumbling on my feet as his hands came to hold me slightly.

"You're hurt. The gate caught your side. I think you need stitches. Please, sit down." He seems frantic. I guess this is someones first attempt to climb over the gate entirely, and someones first intense fall from the top.

"I'll be fine. Please don't touch me." I say, moving my hands in front of me as a defense mechanism.

"Why didn't you use the train?" He asks as I back away. I shake my head in refusal to talk anymore. I didn't want to run into Romeo. I didn't want to run into anyone. I'm avoiding people and the gate seemed like the only way.

"Just please don't come close." I beg as he continues to approach me. I can't blame him for doing what he's doing. It's his job. He's supposed to protect people. What he doesn't know is that my anxiety is climbing and unfamiliar people touching me only makes it worse.

"I'm going to take you to the infirmary." He says. It's not a demand, but his hands are reaching to grasp me and I feel all my defenses climb as I whack away his hands with my left arm.

"No." I say, shaking my head as he looks to his hands and then me again. Just as he reaches for me again the doors open to reveal the other guard and a group of doctors. One doctor being Chris.

"Just sit down." The guard in front of me says, looking to my side as more blood trickled down from my ribs. He moves quickly when I'm distracted to wrap his arms around me causing me to emit a scream from my sudden panic.

"Don't touch me!" I demand, kicking frantically as my feet leave the ground.

"Put her down!" Chris demands as the doctors come racing from the gate opening.

"Please," I sob out as the guard suddenly looks fearful and places me on the ground carefully. I crouch down immediately and hold my chest as Chris drops next to me. Her hand carefully falls to my shoulder. I flinch. "Don't touch me." I whisper as my fingers press against my mouth to stop the need to scream. "Please." I add, feeling bad for pushing Chris away mentally.

"Sweetheart, I need to know what happened. Why are you bleeding?" She asks me, her hand coming away as she waves over a mat. I feel it tuck beside my feet and allow myself to fall back slightly so I'm sitting on my butt.

"I climbed the fence." I say, watching her glance at the high iron fence.

"Did your side get stuck on the barbwire?" She asks, pulling at my large armhole but not touching my skin. She knew very well that I needed to get off this steep edge and allow myself to feel comfortable with touch again.

"Yeah." I croak out, nodding against my knees.

"She fell from the top of the fence. Her side got stuck on the wire and when she fell she tucked and landed on her right shoulder. I heard a crack, Doc." The guard who touched me said, pointing to the arm I cradled.

"So you did listen." She said with a smirk, addressing the many lectures she's given all the kids in the family about tucking when you fall so then you don't crack your neck.

"Aunt Chris, I don't feel too good." I admit, realizing that not thinking this through is leaving me wanting my mom and dad more than ever.

"Do you have to throw up?" She asks, making me nod in agreement as I whimper from shifting my arm slightly.

"Deep breaths. Just let it happen." She said kindly, stroking my hair slightly as strands came from the ponytail. I reach for her hand with my left one and bring it close, placing it over my chest. I reach to feel her heartbeat and know very well mine is too fast.

"Great job, baby girl." She whispered as I took in longer breaths and released them just as slow.

"I want my mom." I admit as the nausea subsided and I began to feel my eyes get heavy. "She'll meet us at the infirmary. Lie back, Sweetie. I'll take care of you." I'm eased back and cry out as my shoulder rests on the stretcher but the pain gives way and I pass out just as I'm lifted from the ground.

* * *

**Well this was really late. Mainly because I was on vacation almost all of August. **

**School starts in two days. I'm not ready.**

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**Valentina**


	16. Chapter 16 - Golden Goddesses

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 16  
Golden Goddesses

_**Ezra's POV **_

"Alright Ezra, no crazy action moves for the next month, and do your best to lay down for the next two weeks. Izabel has your pain meds and knows how to cut off those stitches when they begin to loosen. Just remember not to scrub them in the shower, only light dabbing and bandaging. Other than that you're free to go."

"Thanks Doc," I saw, standing from the bed and laughing when Izabel wraps her arm around my waist. "I'm fine, Love." I inform her as she fusses over me.

"Of course you're fine. Now come on. There's a bed at home calling our name." I give her a mischievous grin, which makes her groan. "No, not like that. You need to rest." She demands, making me groan this time.

"Aw come on. The bed is so boring." I complain as we leave the infirmary.

"Don't make me take away your cafeteria privileges, Ezra Eaton." Izabel warns, looking at me with a deathly side-glance.

"You're sexy when you do that." I mumble by her ear, kissing the side of her head as we walk through the halls.

"Still just bed-rest." She replies, all the while nuzzling her nose into my neck with a content sigh.

"Which reminds me, how's the peanut doing?" I question, looking down at her flat stomach.

"Peanut's doing nothing. Maybe it's because it thinks it's a peanut and not a human. We should really think of names."

"Well what'd you like?" I ask, allowing her to release my side so she can get the door while I lean against the wall.

"I don't know. Something Greek?" I laugh at this.

"Why Greek?" I question.

"Because they're brave and strong like you."

"So cheesy." I tease, wrinkling my nose at her while she heads for the dresser.

"I try. Now sit down." She demands, pointing to the bed while she pulled her shirt over her head and began to undo the button of her jeans. Instead of listening I approach her, taking in her beautiful self as I pull her hips toward me and smile down at her.

"The Greek are also known for being incredibly gorgeous." I whisper, kissing her shoulder and moving to her neck.

"Now who's being cheesy?" She whispers through a shudder as I kiss her gently below the ear.

"Take the compliment, Iz." I run my hands over her firm stomach, smiling against her lips before kissing her with passion. Her body moves closer to me and I force her back, our bodies against the dresser as my hands skillfully tug down her pants.

"Ez, you can't. Your stitches." She says as I try to continue our kiss. The reason I married someone so stubborn, I'd never know.

"Baby, I'm fine." I say, looking into her sparkly hazel eyes. "Just kiss me." I add making her sigh, as she presses her forehead against mine and shakes her head in defeat.

"You're a very bad person. Only rule is: I'm in charge." She says making me laugh and tug her from the dresser and towards the bed. I end up on my back while she straddles me, her hands pulling the hair-tie from her blonde waves allowing them to cascade down her back and over her shoulders.

"Your every wish is my command." I say as I watch her in awe. I'm 100% sure this woman is a Greek Goddess.

_**Damien's POV**_

"Rosie, Posie, Nosie, Wosie." I sing song, walking my fingers up the belly of Rosaline. She simply watched me, her green eyes determined to find what my fingers were doing. I just smile at her and continue to dress the infant, carefully guiding her head through a white onsie and then pulling a pair of socks over her itty bitty feet.

"It's funny watching you dress her." Piper says as she exits the bathroom wrapped in a towel.

"And why's that?" I ask, grinning up at her as Rosie tilts her head to glance at her mommy.

"You're so big, and have this really sweet smile on your face and she's so tiny and is almost in awe that you can be so big and gentle." She replies, pulling out a shirt and pair of skinny jeans from the dresser and heading for the under clothes drawer.

"Well she is undeniably the most adorable baby in all of Dauntless." I say, using a soft bristle brush on her blonde hair. "It's probably the reason for my stupid grin." I explain, leaning down and giving Rosie a kiss on the nose.

"You two are – you just melt my heart." She says, unable to fathom words for her situation. I laugh and pull a small hat over Rosie's head before arranging her in the middle of the bed with my pillow on her right and Piper's pillow on the left, keeping her in place.

Just as I turn around Piper has dropped her towel, sighing as she looked at herself in the mirror wearing only her underwear, a bra sitting on the shelf next to the clothes. I feel a pang of guilt as the memories from ten years ago hit me. She was sick, and scared to allow someone to help her with the anorexia. I caught her in the process of getting sick not too long after the initial reveal of her eating disorder, making me have a break down myself. She promised to do better, and she did. She started to make herself better for me because according to her: _Hurting you is the hardest thing I can ever do. _

The urges never left. I listened to her talk about it many times, a way to distract herself from actually doing anything. I've reminded her to eat her food on several occasions and I've embraced every part of her body throughout the pregnancy because she is in fact very beautiful in every form.

But she sometimes has her days. The days she'll stand in front of the mirror, eyes scanning her naked body as she allowed tears to fall, because to her she wasn't perfect. She didn't feel right. She didn't like who she way.

Today was obviously one of those days. And I didn't even need her to speak before I was behind her, my hands falling over hers as she ran them over her stomach and hips.

"You're beautiful." I whisper by her ear, stopping her hands and wrapping them crisscrossed over her stomach so her back is pressed against my chest. "Embrace yourself, love yourself, because you're gorgeous and I think everyone deserves to love someone as amazing as you."

"I still have all this baby weight." She whimpers, tucking her head close to my neck as I leant forward and kissed her collarbone.

"You see something different in the mirror today-"

"Yeah, the truth." She cuts me off with a sigh. I shake my head and continue to speak softly.

"You see what the negative part of your brain envisions. This isn't you that you see. This is what you don't want to see but do. I see a sexy, gorgeous woman with a body made of gold. I thought you were incredible before Rosie. When carrying Rosie I thought you broke the beauty spectrum. But now… You, Piper, have blown me away entirely. How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?" I ask, rubbing my nose into her damp brown hair. She smelt like herself, and to me that was a drug. I watch in the mirror as tears fall down her eyes. I slowly wipe them away as we lock eyes through the reflective glass. "You're beautiful. I'll repeat that forever and know I'm not lying to anyone." She shudders through a breath and turns in my arms, pressing her face into my chest as I hold her close and allow her to cry.

She needed this. She needed to be told what was the truth and now she was processing. I knew today wasn't a day for her to go out, seeing as she would degrade herself by looking at others so I carefully reach for the dresser, and pull out a shirt from my pile.

"Let's get you dressed." I encourage, slipping the shirt over her head and then slipping her arms through the holes. She wraps her arms around herself as I walk us to the bed and carefully tuck her into her side of the bed. I sigh at the thought of how quick we went from light conversation to this heavy topic in one morning.

I slip the pillow from Rosie carefully and place it behind Piper, hurrying to my side and getting into bed as well. I pull Piper closer and carefully arrange Rosie between us. She reaches up and strokes Rosie's cheek, giving a very small smile.

"Like a teddy bear." She mumbles, looking to me with her sad eyes. "Thank you." She whispers, reaching for my hands and allowing me to kiss it quickly before grasping it tightly and holding both girls closely as we cuddle in silence.

Today was bitter-sweet. Today Piper needed to be embraced for all she is and as a husband and father, it's my duty to make sure that not only Piper but also Rosie know how beautiful they are. They are the suns in my life, and I grew up knowing that light managed to make everything more amazing.

* * *

**This was a chapter of fluff and also one of truth I guess. Body image is one of the hardest parts of life to deal with sometimes. I wrote this as a way to cope myself, so to speak. Some days I feel like Piper and this was a way to take away the bad thoughts. If you struggle with anything I want to hear, I want to help. I'm only 16 but I know that suffering sucks and just writing down what's bothering you can help.**

**Comment, Like, Follow :)**

**-Valentina**


	17. Chapter 17 - Need For Control

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 17  
Need For Control

_**Mara's POV**_

My eyes peeled open and I glanced around the room, looking at all the sterilized white that I was very familiar with. Mom was sitting next to my bed, her head rested by my arm as she slept and held to my hand, obviously being wise and not wanting to let me go this time.

"Mama," I squeeze her hand to get her to awaken, not wanting to be by myself at the moment. She sleepily awakens and turns to look at me with a sad yet joyful smile.

"Hi, beautiful." She says, rubbing her hand over my cheek. "How do you feel?" She questions.

"I'm okay." I reply, drawing circles with my finger over her thumb.

"How does your shoulder feel?" She asks, stroking my hair and making me sigh at how content I felt.

"Hurts a bit. Can I get some medicine?" I ask, sniffling slightly.

"Sure." She kisses my nose before rising from the floor and leaving the room for a moment. I sit up a little more and rub my tired face, feeling weak and groggy from all the crying.

Between my erratic sobs, the intense jostling to the infirmary as I laid on the stretcher, and a scream from me every so often due to my shoulder hitting the pad wrongly, mom managed to find us, taking my hand and promising to not leave my side. I can't believe what a shit daughter I'm being.

"Let's do one Advil now, and then when you're ready we can call in Chris and she can give you a second if she thinks the pain is light enough." Mom said upon entering the room. I nod in agreement and reach for the offered pill and water. She sits at my side again and gives a soft smile, as I down the pill. "Why'd you shut down, baby? What pushed you too far?" She asked in the softest tone I've ever heard.

"I ran off after taking care of Birdie. I was scared because I couldn't have what Phoenix has. I was jealous. And angry." I explain, feeling my chest tighten. I push through knowing she deserved to hear me talk after all my silence. "Some factionless guys were on the tracks… they wouldn't leave me alone." I continue, tears pooling in my eyes. Mom was practically shaking with fear at this point, not knowing what I'll say next, or if I'll bolt (probably not the easiest plan considering I'm stuck in a hospital bed). "I was scared, Mama. I regretted running away from you and dad. I wish I stayed and talked out what made me angry but I couldn't. And then those guys tried touching me, and I felt like I was five again and everything was falling apart inside me." Mom reached forward and wiped my cheeks with her thumb, scooting closer so she sat on my bed and I was placed between her legs.

"What did you do?" She asks me.

"I beat them up. Something took over me and I hurt them because they wanted to hurt me. Then Ezra got stabbed because of them a-and- i-it was all my- fault!" I dissolve into tears and fall forward, placing my head against my knees as I come to terms with the truth.

"Shhh. My love, it wasn't your fault." I shake my head in refusal to believe her.

"Ezra could've died. I'm the reason three factionless died! Mom, those guys were horrible but they could've had families and people who loved them. I'm a horrible person!" With careful movements mom moves me to rest my head on her chest.

"Do you think those guys were thinking about Ezra, Damien or you when they tried to hurt the three of you? You did what you had to do to protect yourself. Ezra and Damien did what they had to do to protect themselves. The fact that this affects you, that you worry for others despite them hurting you, just proves how much of a good person you truly are. There is not one mean bone in your body, Mara Rose. I've raised you since you were little and I can promise you that I'm not lying." I find a content sniffling as her hands brush through the side of my hair, making me calm down significantly.

"When will I stop hurting?" I ask, feeling the whimper break my words.

"When you decide that your heart has healed. But you've got to let your family in so we can help heal it for you." She says, sighing slightly. I turn so I'm lying on my back and glance up at her.

"Can you fix me, Mama?"

"I did it once before. And we always started by talking. And making promises. You have to promise me no more bolting, Mara." She whispers, leaning forward and kissing my forehead. "I'd rather have you crying, screaming, throwing things, for gods sake throw a tantrum if you must but never run away from me again. I have never been so frightened in my entire life." She says, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry." I say, swallowing my tears as I add, "I promise no more running."

"Trust has to be earned, my love. We only go up from here but you need to prove to me that you're trying to work out your emotions properly."

"Okay." I agree, turning my head to look at her. "Can we please call Chris in now? My side burns a lot." Mom nods as she presses the nurse call button and holds me a little closer, kissing my head every so often.

"Well doesn't this scene seem familiar." Frank says when he enters, smile on his face as Chris follows. I can't help a smile as well as I remember all the times mom held me like this, even after I got taller than her.

"How are you feeling, Mara?" Chris asks me, a gentle smile playing on her face as she looks at me from the foot of the bed. Frank has my charts and got to work writing down my vitals presented on the heart monitor.

"Heart rate's a little high, it's probably from the palpitations." Frank says to Chris, showing her my chart as she nods and unwraps the stethoscope from around her neck.

"Let me take a listen." Chris lifts my gown slightly from the neckline and slips her hand under, listening as I take each breath. "Well her breathing is just fine. The palpitations aren't doing anything wrong to that. Can you fetch me some antiseptic wipes and a saline wash? I want to clean her side again." Frank gives a nod and heads for the cabinets while she washes her hands at the sink. "So Mara," Chris begins to speak as she scrubs her hands. "When you got stuck on the fence the barb wire made 15 cuts altogether. 12 of them were deep enough to require stitches. 3 of them reached the bone." Both doctors had returned to my side and Chris was pulling the side of my gown up to show my bandaged left side. Blood had already soaked through. "With the nine that were deep but didn't reach bone we put basic half-inch stitches. The other three we placed small stitches inside the muscle and then closed the top with one-inch stitches. Altogether you have 73 stitches." Once the bandage is off I can see the red skin that is aggravated by the fence and stitches. "The fence was far from clean so I'll be administering an antibiotic into your side every hour for the next three days. Hopefully no infection will grow otherwise I'll have to prolong the injections and start a draining regimen. Right now I'm going to clean your side with some antiseptics and saline. We'll let it air out for twenty minutes and then I'll inject the antibiotic, and then we'll cover you up. Sound good?" I nod from the amount of information.

"Use your words, dear." Mom says softly, rubbing my hairline with her thumb.

"Sounds good, Chris. Thanks for helping me." I say as she glances at me with a smile before continuing on my side.

"You aren't going to thank me after that antibiotic. It's some intense stuff, and it burns like hell. The needle is small though, so that'll be a pleasant treat." She teases as I intake a sharp breath from the discomfort of having my wounds touched with sterilized wipes. "Almost done." She says.

"What happened to my shoulder?" I ask, stretching my fingers out as I finally realize my arm was in a sling.

"Well," Frank began, taking my right hand and pressing on one of my fingernails to see if the cap refills with blood appropriately. "You popped the blade out of place, an easy fix thankfully. You did fracture your collarbone however."

"Fracture is better than broken." I say knowingly, receiving a few laughs.

"It is, especially since breaking your collar bone would mean a surgery to put the cracked parts back together with clamps. Now that would hurt." Frank said, stepping to Chris' side and grabbing the chart to write his analysis on my arm.

"Phoenix had something similar done to her before Ezra was born." Mom says, laughing at the thought. I quirk an eyebrow, not hearing this story before.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Well when I was pregnant with Ezra I had these awful migraines. One day I was trying to close my eyes for a few minutes and Damien and Phoenix decided to be dare devils, of all the days. Either way, they climbed the counter and long story short, Phoenix fell off and cracked her wrist."

"I can still remember how cute she was smacking herself with that giant cast." Chris cuts in, smiling fondly at the memory.

"Off topic." Mom shoots back, making Chris stick out her tongue. I was really appreciative of this distraction. "Back to the story. Turned out her wrist cracked through both bones and so she needed to have clamps put in. She was so little and the anesthesia really wasn't necessary so Chris did some numbing of her arm and popped those suckers back into place."

"Wait, while she was awake?" I ask, my face probably paling from the thought.

"Mh-hm." Chris says, nodding her head as she uses some tweezers to wipe around a cotton ball soaked in saline solution. "She screamed the whole time despite not feeling anything. It was actually really sad."

"Yeah, your sister never cried because of pain, but fear was always her weak spot. Just the thought of someone cutting her arm open had her freaking out."

"I don't blame her." I say, shuddering. "That sounds horrible."

"It was." Mom promises me, glancing down to Chris' work.

"Alright, this is clean. Let's let it air out and then I'll give you the antibiotic. After we wrap you, I believe dinner is in order."

"You can leave the infirmary for the meals. As long as your mom or dad is there to help you." Frank says, gathering the stuff from Chris while she snaps off her gloves and tosses them in the trash.

"I'm not hungry." I say in a whisper, making mom sigh.

"Mara, you dropped over ten pounds. You're nearly twenty pounds underweight. This isn't sliding anymore. You're sitting at our table and you're eating your food until your dad or I think you've had enough." Mom says, a certain tone making it seem impossible to argue.

"Okay." I agree, giving a nod and down casting my gaze to my wrist where I begin to pinch indignantly at the skin.

"Stop. Baby, stop." Mom says, clasping her hands over mine and breaking the action.

"I need to control something." I admit, feeling completely incapable of doing what I want.

"Then control your health. Make it priority. Control something for the better. I understand you didn't want to talk because it was easy to stop what you say. But that only hurt you more. Not eating isn't going to do you any good. Please try for me, Little Raven." She places a kiss on my forehead and I let a few tears fall before I nod for real. Giving into her plea I nod and whisper an, "Okay."

"Thank you, Baby Girl."

* * *

**So what do you think'll happen with Mara next? **

**Comment, Like, Follow :)**

**-Valentina**


	18. Chapter 18 - Considered Normal

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 18  
Considered Normal

**_Phoenix's POV_**

"Alex, baby can you come in here for a sec?" I call, my hands resting on the stomach of Birdie as she rests on the change table.

"Hey Love, what's the matter?" He asks, peeking into the nursery as I lean in close to inspect one of Birdie's legs.

"Are there dots on Birdie?" I question, moving slightly so he could inspect her diaper cladded body.

"Well that's weird." Alex mumbles, peeling the tabs off the diaper and turning her to her side to see her behind.

"What is it?" I ask, watching as he pulls her lip down lightly to see the inside of her mouth.

"When was she supposed to get her one year shots?" He asks me, looking at her ears.

"We've gotten so behind with doctor appointments. It was supposed to be last week but we had to move it to next week instead." I explain, rubbing Birdie's foot as she fusses over her ear.

"I think Bird has chicken pox or something similar." Alex explains, running a hand over her smooth, yet blotchy stomach.

"Chicken pox aren't as aggressive though." I point out, looking at the light pink dots that covered her all over.

"Well she was sick two weeks ago. Do you think that means something?" Alex asks, touching her warm skin.

"I checked her temp. It's warm but hasn't passed 99 degrees. She's got a runny nose but that only started this morning."

"Yeah, which is why you took her temperature." I nod along, racking my brain for what this could be. I knew very well that the infirmary has had enough of our family in the last two weeks. Starting with Ezra, then Piper, and now Mara.

"We should let it go for tonight and then tomorrow if the spots look worse we'll take her straight to the infirmary." He finally decides, redressing the infant who sleepy reached for someone to lift her as one hand pressed over the pacifier in her mouth.

"Come on, Bird. Dinner time." Alex encourages, lifting her and nuzzling her into his shoulder. "Hopefully you stay awake long enough to eat something." He says, making me look at her bloodshot eyes. This baby was exhausted and I was beginning to grow concerned over why her usually energetic persona had crashed so early. "Hey, babe." I snap from my thoughts as Alex rubs a hand over my back.

"Yeah?" I ask, leaning into him a bit.

"Stop worrying. It makes me sad to see so much fear in your eyes." His lips press against my forehead as I chuckle lightly.

"I'm not scared. I'm being a concerned mother." I say, making Alex laugh.

"Rightfully so, but no need to go scrunching your forehead that way every time some bad idea of what's wrong with Birdie comes into your crazy mind. Now let's go eat, please."

"Fine." And so we leave the apartment, Birdie's bag slung over my shoulder as Alex coaxes her to stay awake with weird noises and cool air being blown over her face.

~.~.~

**_Tris' POV_**

"Alright Miss, do you think you can walk?" Chris asks Mara as Frank enters with a wheelchair. I had just managed to help Mara into a pair of sweat pants and a new loose fit tank top, seeing as she loved to wear them almost everyday. One of Tobias' wool sweaters was placed over her shoulders, the zipper open so she could leave her right arm in the sling without it pressing on her shoulder.

"I'm a little dizzy. Can I maybe go on the chair?" Mara asks, pulling on one of her loose curls from her ponytail.

"Of course, sweetie. I'll push you towards the cafeteria." I say, easing her to her feet and, with the assistance of Chris, getting her on the chair.

"I'm pretty sure I can push our little girl somewhere." Tobias enters the room not a second after we set Mara down. "Sorry I was standing outside trying to surprise you guys." He says sheepishly while I throw my arms around him and kiss his neck as my nose nuzzles into his shoulder.

"She needs you." I whisper so quietly only he can hear. He nods in agreement and pulls away from me, approaching our daughter who has tears in her eyes and is attempting to avoid eye contact with him.

"Priness, look at me." Tobias said gently, now crouching before our girl.

"I'm s-o so-rry." Mara choked out, sobs racking her body as she covered her face with her left hand. I couldn't fathom how many tears she's cried in the course of a day but it shattered my heart to think about it.

"Hey, shh, none of that. I'm not mad." Tobias had his hand pulling her's off her face and took over by wiping her tears with the corner of his shirt, dabbing the pale skin. "I missed that voice." Tears had welled in his eyes as the two locked eyes and spoke with no words.

"Please don't hate me." Mara begged, her voice sounding broken once again.

"How can I hate someone who I've loved for years? You're my little girl, Mara. I could never, ever hate you." With that Tobias couldn't hold back anymore and wrapped Mara in a hug, being delicate with her shoulder and sides as he did. I went behind Mara and began to stroke her hair to ease her sobs.

"I just want to get better." Mara finally said, making both Tobias and I deflate in relief. She finally admitted to wanting to get better without someone encouraging it out of her.

"We'll help you. We'll always help you." Tobias whispers, looking up at me as they break their hug.

"Come on, dinner should be getting started soon." I say, wiping my cheeks quickly and pressing a kiss on top of Mara's head. The two sniffled their last tears back and Tobias quickly kissed her forehead before coming to my side and taking charge in pushing her around the compound. Chris and Frank joined us on the walk, their shifts ending with Mara that day, and starting up tomorrow morning.

"Everyone is going to be excited that you're okay." I whisper by her ear, making her nod in agreement.

"I miss them. I want to apologize for my behavior as well." Mara replied, making Tobias smile.

"They understand too, my dear."

~.~.~

_**Phoenix's POV**_

We sat in the dining hall, Birdie fussing in my arms as I attempted to spoon mashed potatoes into her mouth.

"Lovey Dovey, you need to eat." I say, making her press farther into me to avoid the fork of food.

"Is she sick?" Piper asks while rubbing her hand over Rosie's back. The infant was fast asleep in Damien's arms.

"That's what Phoe and I are trying to figure out." Alex replies, taking Birdie from me and soothing her whimpers.

"My mom should be coming by for dinner. Maybe she can narrow it down." Piper replies, glancing at the sudden ruckus that we call Thalia, Sam, and Jackson. The three were bounding all over their table, a cup clattering as more of their laughter filled the room. Will rolled his eyes and gave a small chuckle, glancing in our direction.

"You know I sometimes wonder if they could be anymore reckless and then I remember how you kids used to be during meal times."

"They were the worst." Shauna states, pointing a fork in my direction. "Especially, Phoe. I don't know why but you got into the most rambunctious behavior."

"Nu-uh." I protest.

"Yeah-hu." She says back, suddenly stopping when she catches sight of something behind me. I furrow my eyebrows when she seems slightly shocked and finally turn to see Chris, dad, and mom enter with Mara being wheeled in. I heard that Mara was injured and in the hospital again, I even intended to go visit her after dinner, but here she was in all her glory. Something inside me bent and I could feel less joy flood through me with her presence in the room.

"It's my baby sister!" Damien says with excitement, easing Rosie into the arms of Piper and running over to Mara. He carefully embraced her and took over the wheeling, a stupid grin on his face when they finally got to everyone.

"Someone decided to make her grand appearance this evening, I see." Shauna had gotten up and placed a gentle kiss on Mara's forehead. "Don't go scaring us like that again, kid." Everyone waited for something to come from the silent girl, I knew I would be particularly pissed if after all that went down she didn't speak.

"Okay." Mara whispered, making the whole table gape at her.

"So she can speak." Zeke says, jumping up and going to hug Mara. Will followed and quickly caught the kids table, telling them that Mara was here. The little kids gave her giddy waves but stayed where they were, probably upon Will's request so then they wouldn't injure her anymore. Piper eased Rosie into the free arm of Mara and helped support the infant, crouching down in front of the wheelchair.

"Hi, Rosie. I'm Mara. You should know I'm not always that quiet." This earned a snicker from Chris who then commented that she was always the quietest kid of the whole family. Mom caught my eyes once Alex got up and handed me Birdie, seeing as I wasn't budging from my seat. She walked over to me and gave me a hardened look.

"Phoenix, don't pull an attitude now. Your sister just got back to what can be considered normal and you aren't making an effort."

"I don't think that's normal teenager behavior so don't try to constitute is as appropriate." I say back, placing the back of my hand on Birdie's neck to check on her temperature.

"Everyone is being nice-"

"I get to feel however I want. Just because everyone forgives her for what she's done, doesn't mean I do. Excuse me, I've got to get my baby home." I rise from the table and readjust Birdie on my hip before taking her bag and heading for the other exit. I could feel the eyes locked on the back of my head as I stalked out of the cafeteria.

Mara can't get away with hurting the whole family like she did. I for one won't allow it.

* * *

**Do you think Phoenix has the right to behave how she is? **

**Comment, Like, Follow :)**

**-Valentina**


	19. Chapter 19 - Building Up Walls

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. All rights to Veronica Roth.**

* * *

Chapter 19  
Building Up Walls

_**Tobias' POV**_

"She hates me." Mara said as she laid on the hospital bed, her head on my chest as I was behind her. Tears were pouring from her eyes, Tris occasionally using a tissue to wipe them away since our comforting was futile.

"No she doesn't, Love." Tris says firmly, grasping her hand around the wires attached to Mara.

"Yes she does!" Our daughter insists, shaking her head. "She'll never love me again."

"Hey, don't say that. Your sister loves you so much. She was scared and you know how she gets about this stuff. If Phoenix is scared she builds up walls to keep the stuff that worries her out." I explain, rubbing her hairline and trying to reassure her.

No words came from her after that, my eyes locking with Tris to try to understand if this was appropriate or not.

"Baby, we understand that you're sad and-"

"I just want to sleep." Mara interrupts Tris, making me sigh below her.

"You can talk about what's on your mind. We're here to listen." I say, making her nod lightly.

"I know. I'm just really tired right now."

"That's alright, you sleep. We'll be here all night with you." Tris says, standing up from her chair and placing a soft kiss on Mara's forehead. I kiss the back of her head and quickly gave Tris a kiss before she dimmed the lights and returned to her seat.

As we sat in the dimmed darkness I could practically hear the gears turning in both heads next to me. It was something Mara picked up on when she was growing up, yet I don't believe Tris notices that she has taught our daughter this form of stressing.

"Why would she push away?" The question was so soft that I could barely catch it.

"How so?" Tris asks, drawing her nails up and down the arm of our daughter.

"She was pushing away even before I stopped talking. It was like she was mad at me for being hurt about the kids thing."

"She wasn't mad," I say in a sigh.

"But she wasn't pleased with me either." Mara points out, rubbing her nose as slight comfort, looking at Tris again. "I sometimes wish I never came here," My heart clenches at her words. "Maybe if I never became part of the family you guys would be there for the other kids a lot more."

"No," I say, shaking my head, disagreeing with her immediately. "Family doesn't count the amount of times they've been pulled through the dark because of a member. Family only counts the amount of love received. No matter how many times Damien, or Phoenix, Ezra, or you have been in trouble it could never take back all the love and joy we've been given. You are our daughter and no matter what happens we would never want to take back the day that you were brought to us." A sob escapes her and she turns her face into my chest, gripping my shirt and Tris' hand.

"I love you, daddy." She says through her tears.

"I love you too, please don't worry about Phoenix." I say, glancing at Tris who looked pained and angered. I give her a knowing look, telling her to take a break before going after our second daughter. She sighs and reached up to run her fingers through Mara's hair.

~.~.~

**_Phoenix's POV _**

"How the hell are you mad at me?" I scream at Alex, both of us standing at opposite ends of the bed.

"Because that's not the way you treat family, Phoe. Walking away was uncool and it really threw her off." He lectures, making me scoff and cross my arms in a defensive matter.

"No one reprimanded her when she walked off and came back silent! No one gave a shit when she threw all her problems into a bag and lugged it around, crushing everyone else with the weight. No one fucking stopped her from-"

"From what? Being hurt?!" Alex asks before I finish.

"No, from being so stupid and hurting the whole family!" I say loudly, making the baby monitor shake with cries from the other room.

"Great work, Phoe. She's sick and your screaming woke her up." He turns to leave the room before glancing at me for a moment. "Did you ever think that you're jealous because of all the attention she is getting?" This makes my anger spike even more, if that were possible.

"Don't you dare say that, Alex. The last thing I would be is jealous of my own little sister."

"Could've fooled me."

"Ugh, you're insufferable!" I scream, grabbing my head between two hands and trying to think past the screaming of my daughter and the screaming in my head.

Alex leaves the room when a new round of screams escalates in the next room, soon his voice coming through the monitor as he talks to Birdie.

"Phoenix! Get in here!" His voice was frantic with fear sending me running to the nursery where he cradled Birdie and tried to relieve her discomforted look.

"What's the matter?" I ask, placing my hand over her head and feeling the instant heat radiating from her.

"She threw up in her crib." He explains, pointing to the small pile of vomit sitting on her mattress some left over puke on the corner of her mouth and her onsie.

"I'll give her bath." I say gently, offering to take her from him. He nods lightly, knowing very well that he would be more capable cleaning the mattress since I struggle to pull it up let alone wrap a sheet around it. "Come my little bird, let's get you cleaned up." I coo, trying to soothe the screams of our child.

"Mama – owie." Birdie whimpers, more tears falling from her eyes.

"The bath will help, baby girl. Shh, you're okay." I coo, flipping on the tub faucet and placing Birdie on her feet. Instantly she lurched and gagged, my hand coming up to make a cup shape, which she threw up in.

"Alex, babe, I need help real quick." I say, my voice even so Birdie wouldn't freak.

"Oh good grief." Alex said when he entered and recoiled from the smell.

"Maybe we should go straight to the infirmary." I say, rising from the floor with the pool of vomit in my hands while Alex shut off the tap and stripping Birdie of her pajamas.

"Yeah, she can't go on like this."

"I'll fetch her a blanket and new clothes." I say, scrubbing my hands clean.

"I'm on bucket duty." With that we go our separate ways, meeting at the door finally after Birdie threw up in the kitchen trashcan.

"Come on, little bird. Let's make the owies go away." I say, stroking her hair and opening the door, Alex carries her out and we hurry to the bottom floor.

When we enter, the receptionist offers a pleasant smile and beckons us forward.

Alex gets Birdie's info in while I chew my lip. My mind was tumbling since our screaming match in the bedroom. My hands were shaking uncontrollably and I was in near tears as it suddenly occurred to me what was going on. My head was making me see things, I was losing control and I didn't like that at all.

"Why don't we take her back for some quick weigh ins and a quick check up on her vitals." The receptionist suggests, rising from her seat.

"Take her. I'll find you guys." I say, attempting to hide the quiver in my voice. Alex gives me a suspicious look but goes ahead, glancing back before the door closes to the room they turn into.

I walk away from the desk area, counting rhythmically in my head while trying to self-anchor myself to something.

"Not real." I mumble, shaking my head and pressing close to the wall by the door. "Please stop." I add gently, feeling thankful that the waiting room is empty tonight.

I couldn't bare the thought of Birdie being sick in a different room without me by her side, but I knew very well that by me being in there this behavior would draw attention away from her.

"Jeremy, enough." The voice of a woman said as two kids giggled. I turned my head and watched as a mother with three kids entered. One child was making a fuss in her arms, a towel covered in blood wrapped around his upper arm. The two kids running around her continued the slap and run game, my eyes staying trained on them.

For some reason I couldn't stop staring. There was nothing wrong with them, and it's not out of the ordinary to see dauntless parents in these situations. But the distraction was helping me shut off the voices, but the woman didn't know that.

"What's so interesting that you have to stare?" The woman barked at me, grabbing one of the kids by the shirt and tugging him to sit next to her.

I tried to reply but my voice was caught in my throat and it suddenly occurred to me that I wasn't actually breathing right.

"Hello, I asked you a question." The woman said with a venomous tone, probably the same one she'd use when scolding one of her kids. "Fucking freak." She scoffed out, choosing to ignore me while I kept running through my voice-infested brain how to speak, breath, or even move.

After a while I went into a froze mode, not knowing how to get myself out. This could not be happening again.

_Fucking freak._

That lady was right. I am a fucking freak.

* * *

**Well this took forever to come up with. Seriously guys, worst writers block I've ever had! **

**In addition to the writers block I've recently injured my back at rowing and find it difficult to sit for long periods of time, basically not allowing me to write endlessly like I did before. **

**2016! Yay, new year, new possibilities. I am so excited to continue giving you guys stories, and hopefully you are all ready to receive them :)**

**Like, Comment, and Follow :)**

**Valentina **


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